Onion
by Lydia-kitten
Summary: Kakashi's life has thus far consisted of loving the dead more than the living. But with Madara's war looming, he'll have to face his mistakes, responsibilities, feelings ...and the fact that his students are no longer kids. KakaNaru, YamaSaku, Kakacentic.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Thank god for that really; just imagine all the ramen expenses!

A/N: Unlike Harry Potter, Naruto is a fandom I am still not entirely comfortable with. And yet, my growing fascination for the character of Hatake Kakashi has left me no choice but to write this little piece of cheesy literary garbage. It might become novel-sized. I don't know, to be honest. These things just... happen.

Ok, this is important: PAIRINGS: I don't care about them. Het, slash, I have no preference; thus I create this challenge for myself. Tell me in a review which pairing(s) you want done, and I will choose the most popular one and get it done the best and most realistic way I can.

The point of this story is NOT romance anyway, and it will be a good writing exercise for me.

Chapter 1

It is a beautiful morning in Konoha, the sun bright, the sky as blue as could be, decorated with the occasional fluffy cloud. The traces of last year's invasion are still visible to the knowing eye of course, but overall the rebuilding effort has been impressively fruitful and has given Konoha a bright, brand new face. There's children playing in the alleys, chasing one another and shouting out the names of imaginary jutsus, and there's women chirping cheerfully about the latest topic of gossip, and then there's shinobi of all ages walking down the paved streets, greeting each other warmly.

"All in all, it is an ordinary day in Konoha." Kakashi Hatake mutters to the memorial, scratching the back of his head a little uncomfortably as he stares at the large stone. "I'm afraid I've no exciting tales to tell today, Obito-kun." the silver-haired man adds, his voice low, soft and a little hoarse, but his face masked and unreadable.

And although he knows the boy isn't really there, the jounin can actually see him: throwing a beaming grin at the grown shinobi, his eyes gleaming behind the ridiculous goggles and his fingers forming the sign of victory. Even with only one eye, he can see him as clear as daylight. It is an image that will be forever carved in his mind with all its colourful details, forever unforgotten, no matter the days, the years.

"I guess that's that, then. I have to go train Naruto, you know. He'll be yelling at me again, if I'm late." he tells the boy, and boy smiles at him even more widely.

This mental image is precious to Hatake. It is a part of his personal pantheon, of the little temple he keeps inside his soul in memory of the ones he lost, and he is always guarding their forms with meticulous care, so that they may never fade into the sea of time. Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei… And his father too, lately. After their meeting in the plane between life and death.

He cannot stand the idea of forgetting even the slightest detail about them. Because then, he'd have to let go, and he is not ready for that. And probably never will be.

* * *

"You're LATE!" Nauruto yells, pointing a finger at his teacher in a blatantly accusatory fashion. Despite the fact that he still occasionally acts like a child, Naruto is no longer the senselessly loud, shamelessly orange bundle of energy he used to be. He is 17 now, Kakashi reminds himself, to be 18 soon, actually; and it seems surreal, almost miraculous. It feels like yesterday when he first met Team 7, his Team 7, right here in these very training grounds. It feels like yesterday when he'd immediately concluded that they were a bunch of irritating brats.

But then again, the jounin never did have a very good sense of time. Beause he feels like it was yesterday, too, when he was formulating snide remarks at Obito concerning his childish infatuation on Rin.

All his past feels like a giant yesterday.

"Yo" he greets the young Uzumaki, narrowing his eye in that familiar cheery manner. The boy no longer wears any orange at all, he notes to himself absent-mindedly; not since his battle against Sasuke during the Five Kage Summit. It was then perhaps that he realised he'd truly, irreversibly lost his friend, for the young Uchiha's hatred had been absolute, and rather frightening. Sasuke was still alive, but to Naruto he died that day; or at least the hope of reunating team 7 did. He wears black now, and the occasional grey or green, just like most shinobi. Only a thin, faded orange lining on his collar remains from his days as Konoha's orange troublemaker.

It is this year that for the first time ever, Kakashi starts seeing a bit of himself in his young student. Naruto's gaze, hardened by the knowledge of loss, the easy-going attitude he wears to smother his inner pain, his abruptly acquired maturity… Kakashi too had to go through this phase of sudden adulthood through pain; only he'd been younger, much younger.

"So, where's Sakura-chan?" the jounin asks curiously, but without lifting his eyes from his obligatory porn book. He hears the blond muttering something about a "nonchalant perverted attitude" under his breath and, behind his mask, he smiles.

"She's not coming today. She and Ino are helping Shikamaru with the wedding preparations and all, since he's lazy and stuff. And fairly useless with anything related to parties and fun." Naruto replies, his lips curving upwards into a fond grin. Right, Shikimaru's wedding. Kakashi knew that.

Little buggers sure grow up fast, he thinks to himself and chuckles.

And that young Nara, he's a good, brave kid, and insanely intelligent, too. Inwardly, Kakashi wishes him all the happiness he can possibly get, and all the love, because he knows that there are dark times ahead and that without something bright and meaningful to hold onto, no war can be properly fought. And although there is nothing particularly 'bright' about Sand's Temari, Hatake knows that love works in strange ways sometimes, so he simply shrugs, knowingly.

Sakura's matured too, in more ways than one. She has her emotions tightly under control now, and although the jounin is certain that she still grieves the lost of her childhood love intensely, she does not let it show. She no longer yells as much, either; the long hours spent in the hospital with the company of pain and death have shaped her into a serious, calm and strong individual. Of course, she still retains her occasional girly mannerism, but overall, Kakashi is very proud of the remarkable kunoichi she's become.

"I see. Well then, I'll tell you what. Since, under Killer Bee's tutelage, you've managed to gain control of the vast majority of your demonic chakra, I don't think you'll have much trouble with physical strength. I think we should start training on an entirely different subject now. Genjutsu." he suggests, still not lifting his eye from the little orange book, much to his student's obvious annoyance.

"Mah… Genjutsu? That's for the dark and mysterious shinobi type. Really not my style I'm afraid, sensei!" the kid who is no longer a kid mumbles, his blue eyes wandering off towards the trees. Genjutsu was Sasuke's specialty, Kakashi knows, and thus, somewhere inside Naruto's heart, touching it must feel like treading on a taboo. The silver-haired man does not blame him for feeling that way. He still remembers quite sharply how_ he _felt the first few times he used Obito's Sharingan; he'd felt like a cheap imitator, a thief, a clown.

Yes, Hatake too feels a little uncomfortable with the subject of Genjutsu, and it is also because the ghost of Sasuke (is it right to talk of a ghost when he is still alive, he wonders idly) does not only hover above Naruto-kun, but above him as well. Although he knows, by now, that there was very little he could have done to save a kid so deeply damaged from making all the wrong choices, he still blames himself, at times. Blaming himself has become a habit, after all.

But this is a tough world, and shinobi need to be as strong as they can be.

"Genjutsu it is!" he states in a mockingly enthusiastic manner, turning another page of Icha Icha's tenth volume. Its last one ever, and the same one that he has been reading over and over again for the last year or so.

A few hours later, Yamato joins them as well, admitting to be interested in honing his Genjutsu skills under a master. Kakashi remembers how badly he used to suck at Genjutsu back during their ANBU days, and he teases him about it relentlessly, even though he is actually quite flattered by Tenzou's… well… flattery. However, he finds it a little odd how persistent Yamato is in calling him "sempai", as if something terrible would happen were he to not use the appropriate honorific, which makes no sense. Taking into account his inreasingly gobsmacking mastery of the Wood Release techinques, that are now at Kage level, Yamato is barely any weaker than he is, after all.

"Kakashi-sempai, could you please explain that thing about materialising emotions thourgh the molding of chakra in the eyes again...?" the brown-haired jounin mumbles humbly, already wincing in advance at the mockery that he knows is to come.

Kakashi is 31 years old now, and Tenzou's 29; they might still be amongst their village's most elite shinobi, but their ANBU days are over. That silly honorific feels out of place. By now, they should be very familiar with one another after all. After all, they've fought side by side countless times, and that ought to create some kind of familiarity.

And yet, the masked jounin is relieved by the distance Yamato keeps. He does not appreciate people getting too close to him, at least not closer than he can handle, because then he feels the obsessive need to protect them, a duty in which he always seems to fail in the most cruel, heart-breaking manner.

"Hey, Yamato-taichou! That was pretty bad. Even I could see through it!" Naruto comments, his eyes lively with excitement and a few trickles of perspiration glowing on his cheeks as his dispels a rather mediocre illusion. Despite all the negative memories that Genjutsu might awaken in him, the blond's love of learning new things and his unrestrainable excitement during training seem to persevere. Tenzou laughs nervously, and he is ridiculously endearing for a grown man. Naruto, who is as tall as them now, throws him arm around the embrassed man and declares some silly stuff about him not having to worry, and about his coolness factor remaining untouched by his suckiness at Genjutsu.

Kakashi had always thought Yamato's impressive uselessness with Genjutsu to be a rather cruel form of irony, since the previous owner of his cat-shaped ANBU mask had been none other than Itachi. It was perhaps the reason he had found himself disliking the gentle, brown-haired man when he first met him, a decade ago. But it probably wasn't.

He disliked everyone back then, and most of all himself.

"Mah, mah! Let's try again, alright? And the one that fails most will be paying for dinner." Kakashi suggests amicably, causing a strange fire to awaken in Naruto's eyes. Mentioning dinner always does that. Tenzou, too, is sick of being tricked into bying them dinner though, so his face morphs into a mask of frightening resolution. All can be done with the right incentive, Hatake deduces.

* * *

Sakura and Sai join them at Ichiraku's a few hours later. Warm greetings are exchanged, with the exception of Sai's case; he is still not too dexterous with social situations, and frankly, that fake grin of his is utterly unnerving. Kakashi is growing fond of him as well, however. Especially after that incident with Naruto and the Wave country squad, when Sai had chosen to interfere despite his orders, and even despite his better judgement. He is discovering the true meaning of power, thinks the masked teacher: that it is meaningful only if you have people you desire to keep safe, and that it is truly attainable only when you yourself are supported by such people.

Kakashi knows all of that, theoretically. It is the lesson Obito has taught him. And yet, in practice, he is still terribly, utterly alone, and has a sinking feeling that he will always be; the dead take up too much space in his heart, and there is very little left to give to the living. He does his best, though.

"So, why do you wear a mask, Kakashi-sensei?" Sai asks out of the blue, causing all others to cringe at his uncanny ability to constantly produce faux-pas. Of course he wasn't part of team back when Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke had spent an entire week trying to figure out what terrible, dark secret the jounin could possibly be hiding behind this dark veil of mystery.

By now, Naruto and Sakura seem to have no cusiosity left over that matter; they simply accept it as an obligatory fact of life, a necessity. Perhaps they have even sensed that, whatever the reason behind their teacher's odd stylistic choice, it is a decision that must be respected, and a part of his identity. Sai, of course, is compassionately challenged, and could never possibly attain such a silent understanding.

"Well I…" Kakashi mutters hesitantly, digging into his brain for a lame excuse that would nonetheless shut the unnaturally pale shinobi up for a while. Before he can come up with something even vaguely acceptable however, he is interrupted.

"It's because he has giant teeth." Naruto declares very calmly, not even bothering to raise his eyes from his… third… (or perhaps fourth...?) bowl of ramen.

"Yes. And terribly puffy lips. It's a genetic disease." Sakura adds matter-of-factly, but although she tries her best to keep a straight face, the jounin can see that the edges of her lip is twitching a little. She hides her nascent amusement by throwing her hair back in that sort of femme-fatale fashion. The one that makes Naruto stare.

"He also has a very embarrassing tattoo on his chin." Yamato offers in an equally factual manner, and he takes a bite off the large prawn floating inside his bowl.

Somehow, and for a reason that he can't really explain, an odd feeling of affection floods Kakashi's chest. Little does his team know that, while defending his right to keep a wall between himself and other people, they are actually slowly tearing that very wall down.

The Copy-nin is not really sure why he still wears that mask, anyway. There have been many reasons in the past, of course. He is not the sort of idiot to wear something for fun, or to look good. At first, it was because he was ashamed of his striking resemblance to his father; he had thought it to be an embarrassment to bear the features of a dishonourable man. And then, when Rin, Obito and Minato-sensei came barging into his life, he finally understood his father's choice, and was no longer ashamed of him, or of their resemblance.

Only by then, he was ashamed of his own self. Because he had lost Obito due to his own cowardly cynicism, and then Rin, because he had been unable to support her as well as the loud little Uchiha had. Then he lost the Yondaime, and then he lost Jiraiya, and Sasuke.

Somewhere in the middle, he lost himself, as well.

Now it was not really shame that kept his mask on, however. He was not sure was it was. Perhaps a sign of grief, or simply a habit. Perhaps the desire to drive people away, and his need to protect his private pain the best he can. It doesn't matter; it's part of his persona now, and there is something he really appreciates about the way the fabric brushes against his lips every time he secretly smiles.

"Indeed. And then there is that finely trimmed moustache that some people find highly offensive." he finally explains, offering his best thoroughly-happy face to the young ROOT member. Sai looks utterly confused for a second, and stares at them as if they'd grown fancy pairs of colourful horns. At some point though, perhaps when he notices Sakura's persistently twitching lip, his expression changes from incredulous to smug and knowing.

"You are making a JOKE! I know all about them. I have read it in a book." he states triumphantly, and Kakashi is indeed very proud of Sai's extraordinary progress with understanding people's social behaviour. Perhaps in a few decades, he'll be able to flirt, too. By the time he hits 80, he might even manage to engage in a serious relationship, who knows.

Eventually, Yamato pays, and they leave.

* * *

The Copy-nin still lives in that same old apartment; the one the Yondaime had provided for him after his family's extinction had become complete. He hasn't even bothered repainting the walls, since Konoha's warm and somewhat dry weather does not make it imperatively necessary. Even the bed is still the same, it occurs to him. That very same bed on which he'd mourned and cried endless times before his eyes ran permanently dry, the one in which he'd awoken from the most terrible nightmares after his first ANBU missions, the one on which he'd sit, staring at his own bloodied hands.

He doesn't have nightmares that often anymore, in spite of the fact that he does occasionally happen to lose himself in memories of bloodshed, murder and austerity. When he does have nightmares though, the mere sight of that terribly familiar ceiling is enough to reassure him, for it is the undeniable proof that, after all is done, life goes on.

Perhaps the most significant change in here is related to that set of framed pictures on his nightstand. By now there's more than ever before.

There's one of his father and mother, which he added after his battle with Pein.

There's one of his old team, and although it is now faded and old, to him it's always terribly, tragically beautiful.

There's one of team 7, and although it sometimes breaks his heart, it's quite a lovely photo of them, too.

And then there's one of him, Yamato, Naruto, Sai and Sakura: Team Kakashi, the Godaime had called when, in her infinite wisdom, she had chosen to form that team. It's shiny, and new.

As long as he has a family, things will be alright, Kakashi thinks to himself.

It is his last thought before he drifts to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Kakashi. Apparently the consensus of my reviewers thinks Naruto should own him.

A/N: Hello once more, dear readers. Apparently, the Roman arena has decided that the main pairing should be **Kaka/Naru**, which is absolutely fine with me. As a side pairing, I think I might have Sakura hook up with Tenzou Yamato, just because I can. Nonetheless, there will be no romance for quite a while. I am giving myself the time to change my mind about the parings in case reviewers change theirs, and also focusing on this story's main points; that is, Kakashi's mind, and the actual -plot-.

To PaleWhiteWind: Wow, I am amazed that someone actually recognized me from my novel-length Potterfic. I think I am going to blush now. And yes, this one might become a serious novel-length tale too. Depends on my muse, I suppose.

Warning: There will be some *gasp* plot! Also, past one-sided NaruSasu as a necessary plot device.

Chapter 2

Nobody is surprised when Kakashi turns up at Shikamaru's wedding terribly late; far past what could be considered fashionable, really, considering the actual ritual is already over. The only one that is slightly amused by it is Temari, the bride; and she is more amused by how the other guests are finding the jounin's behaviour absolutely natural, than about the tardiness itself.

"Yo. Congratulations." Kakashi mumbles a little embarrassedly towards the young genius' direstion. He makes a lousy groom, badly shaven and with a cigarette hanging from his lower lip, but he does look quite happy.

Nara finds it endearingly odd that the man, despite his constant lateness, always seems to feel a little guilty about it. He can understand all about leisureliness though, after all Shikamaru himself was more than a few minutes late for the wedding preparations, much to his future wife's affectionate exasperation. Although, sometimes Nara wonders whether Kakashi-sensei is _actually_ a lax and negligent man, or if there is an entirely different reason for his repeated slacking.

After all, the young strategist is an ANBU too, and he knows well that idle shinobi cannot make a career in the corps, let alone become some kind of legend, like the copy-nin had.

He does not think about it too much though, because anything other than staring at his gorgeous bride feels simply too tiresome. "Heh. Thank you Kakashi-sensei." he simply replies, offering a wide, simple and slightly lazy smile. The copy-nin nods.

Kakashi Hatake then spots Naruto and Sai, and, taking the obligatory little orange book out of his pocket, he starts walking towards them, avoiding the people around him without even lifting his eyes off the perverted pages. He absent-mindedly observes that he is also the only one to be wearing his full shinobi outfit and gear; the rest are dressed with the best that is to be found in a closet: nice sweaters, fancy dresses, even a few kimonos. Or, in Hinata's case, a horribly complicated, ornate kimono that must be worth more than half the village.

Oh well, it can't be helped. His jounin uniform _is_, after all, the best to be found in_ his _closet, he concludes and shrugs the issue off.

"Kakashi-sensei! Over here! There's these little meat buns over there, and here there are some maki with salmon in them, and then there's…" Naruto babbles from a few meters away while waving, seemingly excited to let his teacher know of the culinary opportunities that are presenting themselves. Sai, on the other hand, is quietly glaring at the people around him, who seem to nervously avoid meeting his unnervingly calculative stare.

"How lovely, neeee." the silver-haired shinobi mutters back, barely lifting his visible eye from the porn. He does nonetheless notice that Naruto is wearing a suit, which looks rather strange on him, and vaguely wonders how the blond managed to get himself one.

And even though he lays his eye on the suit for less than a second, the Uzumaki, who has grown to know him eerily well, notices and answers the unsaid question.

"That? Sakura gave it to me. I have no idea where she found it, but she said that if I don't wear it, she'll tell Temari I implied she looks rather... full-figured." the young man explains, and his lips curve into a fond smile. His current serious and gentle expression underlines his rather striking resemblance to the Yondaime, and a small part of Kakashi is grateful for this chance to see, if only because of his own momentarily confused imagination, his teacher's caring smile.

"It looks great on you, Naruto-kun! Sakura sure knows how to construct a convincing argument." the jounin declares, and then all three of them turn around to the sound of a loudly approaching Gai.

"My esteemed rival! Do not be a wallflower! Come shake your body to the passionate rhythm of this music while you are still young!" the Green Beast proposes, beaming an unnaturally sparkly grin towards the slightly cringing group. Sai is staring at the taijutsu specialist with both fear and wonder, as if he were some kind of dangerous, mythical creature. He looks ready to start taking down scientific notes.

"Mah, mah… My dancing days are over, I'm afraid." states the copy-nin, turning a new page on his naughty book.

"Ahhh! You have come here in your jounin uniform, and carrying your book. What a carefree, hip attitude you have, my rival! I am simply amazed! May the flames of youth burn brightly in you!" comes Gai's enthusiastic reply, and he seems ready to add something additional when Lee appears and, nodding in greeting, drags him away to the other side of the large room.

The three of them stay silent for a few moments, and then Naruto, grabbing a new meat bun, pulls Sai's sleeve. "We're going to go find Sakura-chan and Yamato-taichou. You comin', sensei?" he asks.

"I'll just hide here for now." Kakashi replies matter-of-factly, and he offers Naruto one of his stereotypical grin-and-closed-eye faces. The two boys go away then, and the jounin can just about hear Sai wondering what a "wallflower" is, and the jinchuuriki hissing something about him being a social retard. How adorable, he thinks before diving back into his familiar book.

Genma walks over and greets him at some point, and so do Hayate and Aoba. Then also Raidou, Inoichi, Tsume, and a bunch of other people; he could not possibly recall exactly who, but they are all people he knows well, and even cares about. Nonetheless, Kakashi is not really enjoying himself as much as he should be; he was never much of a party animal, despite what rumours say about working hard and playing hard in ANBU. It is pleasant, however, to be surrounded by all these people; it feels like a great big happy camping group.

Albeit an irritating one, at times.

But one he is fond of nevertheless.

With the corner of his single naked eye, he spots Ibiki over at the opposite corner, dressed in black from head to toes and looking as unarguably frightening as he always does. He is not alone however; Mitarashi Anko is standing next to him, a cheerful grin on her face and a rather impressive pile of meat buns on her paper plate. Oddly enough, her expression is not one of mania, nor are her eyes gleaming in their usual dangerous manner. The one that speaks of death, blood, sadomasochism and other such pleasantries.

Furthermore, and heaven forbid, Ibiki's lips are a slight bit curved. Upwards. He is smiling, Kakashi realises in shock. He has known the man for over two decades and yet he's never, ever seen him smile for any purpose other than scaring his prisoners with the threat of a deeply sadistic treatment. And there he is now, an eerie softness spread on his face, watching over that psychotic lady while she is clomping down the free food.

They are lovers now, he deduces immediately, and it _does_ make sense for them to be, he guesses. He'd be one to truly be able to understand what she's been through, and she'd be one to be able to hear all about his working day without flinching. Underneath his mask, Kakashi Hatake smiles for them.

"Hey 'Kashi-sensei. We found them." States a voice from behind his back, and he turns around to find a fairly cheerful Naruto dragging with him a rather confused Tenzou, with a smiling Sakura and an impassive Sai following.

"Yo" he greets calmly and amicably, thinking to himself that they really make a rather odd team, the five of them. Sakura is wearing a lovely pale pink dress, and she is looking more elegant than he'd ever thought she could be, as mean as that may sound. Yamato, on the other hand, has removed his facial protectors, and is looking profoundly nervous about the way everyone is staring at his face with evident curiosity.

"Put that goddamn book down for a second won't you, sensei? We're at a wedding. I'm pretty sure it's bad etiquette to read porn during a wedding." Sakura points out rather accusingly, but he can tell she is not actually annoyed; rather than that, she seems amused.

"It _is _bad etiquette. It says so in that book about…" Sai begins to add, obviously in a well-intentioned effort to be helpful, but he is violently interrupted by a desperate-looking Naruto, who is is hissing something about Sai "not being allowed to read books anymore". The socially awkward boy thus decides to change the subject of the conversation in order to avoid all the embarrassment.

"So, Kakashi-sensei, when are _you_ getting married?" he asks cheerfully, his face contorting into that mask of forced friendliness. Kami, he is really incorrigible, Kakashi inwardly moans; Yamato and Sakura wince at the horribly indiscreet and vexing question, but Naruto just smirks in a seemingly oblivious manner.

"Mah, mah… No hurries! I am still an active jounin. Maybe one day…" the silver-haired man replies vaguely and waves Sai off with a laid-back movement.

"But I once read that 30 is the age when…" Sai is about to protest, when the pink-haired girl's self-control finally breaks, and her composure starts crumbling down.

"Sai-kun. Be quiet please." she mutters in a rather hostile manner, and she cracks her knuckles in a fashion reminiscent of Tsunade, eyes sparkling with murderous intentions. Kakashi smiles at the question, though, and that seems to hold the girl back from proceeding with the obligatory beating.

"Thirty huh..? Well, I was never good with deadlines, you know." he factually replies, and dives back into his little orange book, while Naruto smiles over him endearingly.

Within his mind, Kakashi thinks that Sai has a point of course; when he was younger, Kakashi himself had often thought about eventually settling down with a kind, caring woman and having a family. The only problem with that was the fact he did not actually _like _kind, caring women, and that although he was already in his thirties, his village needed him to be as active a shinobi as ever.

Furthermore, he already _has_ a family, he adds to his inner monologue, resting his eye on Naruto's gentle smile, Sakura's rosy cheeks, Yamato's avoiding gaze, and Sai's awkward, chilling grin. A slightly strange family, but a family nonetheless, he concludes.

"Sakura-chan, you look great in that dress." he randomly comments, breaking the slightly icy atmosphere with admirable ease. That seems to really confuse her, for she is not certain if she should thank him and be flattered, or punch him about being a perverted jerk. In fact, she takes so long with that decision, that in the end she does nothing, and simply scratches her head a little nervously. Naruto chuckles.

"Yeah, you look great. You look like the wedding cake." the blond adds in a conspiratory whisper, and, seeing as Sakura has no qualms about punching _this guy,_ he is sent flying off almost immediately by her womanly rage. Sai finds all this very amusing, while the Wood Release specialist seems to be pretending not to know them.

Yup. They make a great family.

* * *

When the party's over, Sakura, Tenzou, Sai and a bunch of other chuunin and jounin decide to go over for a beer at the _Drunken Fist Pub_, and although Kakashi is actually both tempted and invited to tag along, he ends up refusing. Having been with such a loud crowd for so long has rendered him thoroughly exhausted; he has spent a very large portion if his life alone by choice, and he is having a bit of a hard time getting used to all this commotion. _Adjusting, _is the right word, he reminds himself.

He churns up an excuse about having a date with an old lady in order to help her carry some shopping bags, and despite the fact that it is past midnight, the others seem to accept his ridiculous excuse smoothly.

Deep inside, the jounin does feel a little bad about not going along, however. He generally never shows up during Poker Fridays, he almost never goes out with the chuunin and jounin gang, and even when he occasionally does, he somehow fails to participate in the whole singing karaoke, dancing on tables and playing strip shogi routine. There was a particular period in his life though, that lasted no more that a couple of months, when he _did _go out all the time, and slept around quite a bit, and drank bad tequilas.

It was a couple of years after Minato's death, and he had tried to convince himself to stop living in the past and start having a little more fun; his ANBU teammates had been pushing him, too, and he thought he'd give it a chance.

It'd been a complete failure. He still felt as detached as ever, and as cold, only this time there was a crowd around him, or at times a person beneath him. He decided to focus on his shinobi career instead; after all, there was something profoundly wrong about murdering women and children during the day, and then partying cheerfully at night.

"Kakashiiii. Wait. I'm going home too." a voice comes from behind him at some point. Right. As much as he'd been lost in thought, he _did _hear someone following him, he realised; he just didn't even process that particular piece of information. He spins his upper body around, and comes face to face with Naruto.

It's not the usual Naruto though: there's no overly cheery smile or tangible aura of optimism. There's just a young man with serious, tired eyes and a handsome, slightly hardened face; and even though his lips are still shaped into a smile, it's a slightly weary one.

Kakashi is concerned. He does of course know that Naruto is no longer a kid, and that even when he still was one, he still carried great burdens of guilt and pain inside his little body. Nevertheless, it is so rare for him to let his hidden stash of bitterness show, that his teacher cannot help but feel worried; especially since Naruto could have chosen to be with a gorgeous Sakura instead of walking aimlessly in the streets.

"Naruto-kun, why aren't you at the _Drunken Fist Pub_? You should be having all the fun you can get; when I was your age I…" the jounin begins, ready to weave a web of hopefully convining lies, but his student, without meeting his gaze, interrupts him.

"Sasuke does not party, and he does not flirt with girls and drink beer. Right now, he is training. He is training his newly acquired Eternal Mangekyo with the sole purpose of destroying this village, you know. I cannot slack behind; Konoha's fate depends on this." he whispers hoarsely, with troubled eyes still lost in the dark horizon of the night.

"I am sure you can feel it too, Kakashi-sensei. It's the calm before the storm, neh? They don't see it, but I am sure you can; and I can too. So it's up to us to be prepared, because soon enough, we will have to be strong enough to protect them, isn't that right?" the boy concludes, his voice low and distant, and then he finally turns his gaze towards Kakashi, and the jounin finds it familiar. Just like Minato's eyes during the Kyuubi attack, it occurs to him. He looks less like Obito and more like his father by the day.

Kakashi kicks himself at that thought. He must finally stop comparing the boy to the dead; Naruto is a person of his own. He is an entirely unique individual, and one the jounin really cares about, he reminds himself.

"Naruto… You should not be thinking like that. This war that's coming will not rest on your shoulders alone. Do not believe yourself the sole responsible for…" Kakashi starts, putting a hand on the young man's shoulder, but once again he is not given the opportunity to complete his sentence.

"But they _need_ me to take this on my shoulders! After the Pain invasion… Everyone believes in me now, and they put their trust in me. I hated it a bit at first, I thought they were sucking up to me now that I'm getting stronger, but that's not how it is. They need a hero, Kakashi-sensei. The Sannin, your father… This village can't survive without its heroes, so I must be good enough." Naruto states, and there is a gravity, a quiet conviction in his voice and a maturity that finds Kakashi unprepared. Naruto is becoming wise.

"I am sure you will be strong enough. The only question you need to bring yourself to answer is, could you kill Sasuke if Konoha's fate depended on it?" the copy-nin asks him. He knows that it is a question that has silenly, wordlessly hovered above their heads for a long time, and that they had forbidden themselves from wording it out loud. A taboo. But the shinobi life is hard, as they both know, and they do not have the luxury to avoid talking about the subjects that hurt them.

Naruto seems to be a little taken aback by his teacher cruelly blunt question, and he throws his eyes to the floor for a few minutes, uncertainly and painfully.

Silent reigns between them.

"If it's Konoha or Sasuke-kun… It will have to be Konoha." The boy finally states, but the tone of his voice is breaking a little, and he doesn't quite meet the jounin's eye. This will not do, Kakashi thinks to himself worriedly; this indecisiveness, this doubt… it can kill during an actual battle.

"It will have to be. But _will_ it be?" he persists, and he does feel a stab of guilt as he watches the unmistakable pain filling the young man's eyes; and yet, he has to push him, he has to ready him. Naruto nearly flinches at his teaher's calm but forceful persistence, and says nothing. This is very hard on him. _He needs my help_, the jounin realises, and his expression softens.

"Naruto-kun… I know how you feel about Sasuke." he whispers almost tenderly at the troubled man that stands before him, and he lifts his forehead protector, revealing his Sharingan. Or rather, his Mangekyo Sharingan. Naruto stares back at his teacher's mismatched eyes, and he looks nervous, confused and even a little frightened.

"Do you know how I got this eye, Naruto-kun? You must have heard some pieces of the story; Konoha is a gossipy town. I had an Uchiha in my genin team as well, you know. His name was Obito Uchiha, and I never realised how much I cared about him, until I lost him, and there was nothing left of him but this eye. Believe me... I know just how you feel. But life goes on." he explains to the young man so softly and so gently that he barely recognises his own voice.

Naruto stares at him blankly for a second, and then his eyes widen in realisation; something clicks inside him, and he meets the mismatched eyes with a newfound intensity, a deep understanding.

At that precise second, a new bond is formed between them. Naruto's blue eyes mellow down knowingly, and whole new realisation sinks in. _The silent, distant, detached copy-nin is not a cool, invincible force of nature; he is a man just like him, vulnerable to pain, and to loss, and to love._ It occurs to Naruto that despite how much affection he's always had for Kakashi, he'd never really thought of that before.

But when he said he knew _exactly _how Naruto feelt about Sasuke could he possibly mean… He couldn't, the jinchuuriki decides, and he gives his teacher a bittersweet, pained smile.

"Look, Naruto… The reason I am saying this is… No matter how well, how obsessively well you prepare your body, it will not make up for a doubtful heart. It is your heart you have to train. You have to accept, truly accept, that Sasuke is beyond redemption. That the Sasuke you knew is dead. Other than that, you are ready. As ready as you'll ever be, and I believe in you, I really do." the teacher adds, and he thinks it's strange that when he places his hand on Naruto's shoulder, he is not placing it downwards anymore, but straight ahead.

The blond nods.

They part ways.

* * *

The next day, Naruto is sparring with Sakura in the woods; and they are both being quite serious about it. Sparring for them is no longer a game because, to some extent, Sakura also realises that she will need to be strong, for this war is far from being over; in fact, it's only just begun. The gap between their skills is becoming wider now, even though Sakura is indeed turning into an exceptional kunoichi. Her strength is impressive and highly destructive, the precision of her hits is astounding and her chakra control is better than the blond could ever hope to achieve.

And yet, Naruto is on an entirely different level compared to her, she realises bitterly but also proudly as he moulds his demonic chakra with ease to split it into dozens of fox-like clones. She is truly happy for him, for the recognition he has attained, the admiration he has earned, and she loves him deeply, this stupid, brave boy; more than her mother or her father, her family is Naruto.

She knows, objectively speaking, that he is growing into an attractive man as well, and that the young women of Konoha have been noticing him; and yet, in her eyes, he is still the adorable idiot he has always been, despite his broad shoulders and his serious eyes. He is her brother in pain, her brother in memory, and her brother in loss.

The two of them, she knows, could never be a couple. The two of them alone will never be anything more than two thirds of team 7, yearning secretly to be completed. And Sakura knows that he knows that as well; despite the fact he still compliments her quite often, and even flirts with her occasionally, she can tell that he knows it just as clearly as she does. He, too, has come to accept that the two of them could not possibly function as a couple, and that the deep, beautiful bond they already share could never morph into something more.

The ghost of Sasuke-kun and the echoes of their childhood will always keep them apart.

And they will always bring them together, too, but in an entirely different way. As a family that has gone through a common loss, and as comrades that have gained an silent understanding of one another that no one else could achieve. Except, perhaps, Kakashi.

"Naruto…! You are becoming too strong for me, mah!" she declares loudly as a two-tailed clone throws her a few feet away with some wind ninjutsu she does not recognise, and she lifts her hand up in admitted defeat. Ever since two months ago, when the blond the jinchuuriki managed to achieve something thus far thought absolutely impossible, create shadow clones imbued with the Kyuubi's chakra shroud, she has barely managed to a land a proper hit on him, she realises miserably. The clones are immediately dispelled, and Naruto rushes to her side, looking very concerned.

"Are you okay Sakura-chan? I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" he mumbles guiltily and helps her up. She chuckles tiredly at him (her bones are aching), and ruffles his hair affectionately.

"You moron, I'm fine." she tells him, and she offers him one of these wide, shiny smiles that make him feel like everything is going to be alright, forever. He loves her more now then when he used to have a crush on her; and he knows her more, too. There are no secrets between them anymore, really.

* * *

This is why when they sit under that large tree munching their rice-balls, the young man decides to ask her about their teacher. "Sakura-chan… How exactly did Kakashi-sensei get his Sharingan? I know that a dying Uchiha gave it to him or something of that sort, but that is simply not a complete explanation, you know." he mutters a little hesitantly, his voice low and serious. Sakura turns her head around and studies his face for a moment; he is troubled, she concludes, and concerned. She wonders why.

"I don't know the exact story either, to be honest. But from what I've seen in Tsunade-sama's files, there was a young Uchiha in his genin team. In the picture he did not really _look _like an Uchiha though, to be honest. A very cheery kid, with goggles, of all things. He reminded me of you much more than he reminded me of… you know, Sasuke-kun." she starts, trying her best to remember exactly what she'd read about Kakashi's early days as a shinobi; it was a few years ago, and being the silly girl she was, she hadn't given the information much thought.

She regrets it now, she realizes; she'd like to be able to understand the quiet jounin a little better. She'd pay to get her hands on his files.

_And she also regrets still being unable to say the name of her own former Uchiha comrade without feeling a weakness in her stomach._

"Anyways, the young Uchiha died during a mission, and the girl in their team, who was training to become medic-nin, transplanted a Sharingan eye in accordance to the dying boy's wishes, I think. This is what the report said, if I remember right." she continues, trying to sound as factual as possible, but finding it difficult. Her eyes widening a little, she hurriedly adds some more information.

"I just remembered... the report was filed by your father, you know! I'm sure you've heard of this before, but he was their genin teacher. As for the girl… I think she is probably gone as well. I know the list of kunoichi that have had medical training quite well, and there hasn't been a 'Rin' amongst them for years… All in all, it's a sad story, I guess." the pink-haired girl concludes. In fact, it all sounds so disturbingly tragic that she does even want to think about it anymore.

She'd rather still believe her teacher to be an almost supernatural figure; an invulnerable constant. It makes her feel safer.

"So Kakashi-sensei lost his father, his teacher and all of his comrades, and he is still as strong as ever, while we still go all teary-eyed over Sasuke-kun's name, even though he's still alive, neh? We are real wimps, you know that, Sakura-chan?" Naruto says, and his voice, hoarse and low, is trembling a little; also, ironically enough, his eyes seem somewhat moist. Sakura's too, as she nods to his conlcusion.

They hug one another then, because they only very rarely dare say out loud that Sasuke is lost now, and when they do, it's hard to cope with it.

"Yeah, I guess we're wimps." she whispers in his ear, and he smiles.

* * *

And while two comrades hug caringly under a tree, a heavily wounded shinobi from Rain is allowed into the Godaime's office. Since the defeat of Pain and his acceptance of the young Uzumaki's vision, the Rain have allied themselves to Konoha, rendering this ominous visit rather worrisome to the female Sannin.

"You've got to help us, Godaime-sama. We are being attacked… We think it's merceneries hired by the Akatsuki. We've pushed them back so far, but if the Akatsuki members themselves show up…" the man cries in desperation, his voice cracking under the effects of fear and grief. There is a large wound on his stomach, and it doesn't look too good. Tsunade will have to take care of it personally for the man to have a chance.

The Slug Princess' eyes harden at the mention of the Akatsuki, but she knows that it would be simply unacceptable not to send any help. Help _is_ what allies are for, after all.

"Do you have any idea of the motives behind their attack? Are there any intelligence reports concerning their possible target?" she asks, trying to tone down the blunt harshness of her voice. The man before her is tired, frightened and wounded, she reminds herself sternly, and her features immediately soften. "It would really help us decide on the selection of shinobi we'll be sending" she adds gently.

The man's eyes brighten with hope at her last statement. Thank Kami, they _will_ be sending help, he thinks weakly.

"We have no certainty, but we think they are targeting a pre-adolescent girl from the Midorikawa clan. She is rumoured to have… accurate vision of the future." The man spits out between heavy, nasty coughs. Tsunade's glare darkens. _That's just what we need_, she thinks to herself grimly, _Madara with knowledge of the future_; this cannot possibly be allowed to happen.

And yet, who could she possibly send? Anyone not powerful enough would be a lamb to slaughter; and she is not the kind of Hokage that could possibly treat her shinobi like meat for the cannons. And yet, if she sends out her best, would the village be able to survive the possibility of their loss, or even their short-term absence?

Sooner or later, she knows that Konoha will have to face the full fury of this war, and that there is no point in keeping Naruto and Kakashi inside the village in order to protect them. They will, inevitably, have to face Madara, because she knows that Madara is after them, and that he will stop at nothing.

And yet, are they ready to be sent out when the possibility of meeting that damned Uchiha is so very real? They need more time, she tells herself;_ Naruto needs more time…_

The Hokage collapses exhausted onto her chair.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Sakura either. Well, to be honest, one of my dogs is named Sakura. I named her –before- the show ever aired, though. And she barks _less_ than that Haruno girl.

A/N: Thanks for the rather positive response to this story! I think that by now I can safely establish that pairings will be Kaka/Naru and Yama/Saku, since no one really complained about them, and I am finding myself liking them. But for now, team-bonding and plot advancement are in order, I believe. And no, before anyone asks, the Yama/Sai interaction is NOT romantic. It is exactly what it looks like.

To Marri Uchiha: You actually _liked_ the little Ibiki/Anko implication? Damn, it even makes _me _shudder. As for Sasuke, don't worry, he will have a role to play. Just not yet.

To Fading Serenity: Yup, Naruto's growth, mostly on a psychological level, will be one of the main focuses of this story.

To Kei Taiho and thesilentzoo: Be reassured, both this one and Wand Cores will be updated quite often. It's not like I'm going to spend less time on Wand Cores just because I am starting a new story. And I know that well-written Kakashi-centric stories, and even more so Kaka/Naru ones, are rare, so I hesitated a lot before I ultimately decided to go for it. Oh well, lets try to fill that gap, ne?

Chapter 3

Hatake Kakashi knows that a matter of significant gravity is going to now be discussed the exact moment the Hokage sends Shizune away. She never sends Shizune away, unless something is terribly wrong. Feeling slightly concerned, he convinces himself to take his uncovered eye off the "romantic novel" and meet Tsunade's gaze. The tension he detects there is so great that he decides it is perhaps best to put the book away entirely; this does not seem to be a laughing matter.

"Hatake Kakashi. Have a seat." the blonde woman suggests authoritatively, her face troubled and serious, and her eyes wander off pensively towards the window. The jounin takes a few hesitant steps forward and then, as commanded, sits onto the chair facing the Hokage's office. For a moment she neither faces him, nor speaks to him; she seems to be lost in thought.

"There has been a large-scale attack on Rain. Hired mercenaries. The Rain shinobi believe Akatsuki to be behind the attack, and fear a direct attack from the group now that the mercenaries have been pushed back." the Hokage finally states, taking a seat, herself, behind the large, mahogany desk.

"The Akatsuki…? Madara Uchiha, Zetsu of the Hidden Grass, and Sasuke's group are the only surviving members we know of. Could there be anything in Rain important enough for any of them to assail the village personally?" Kakashi questions in an inappropriately nonchalant fashion. However, he already knows that the Hokage would not exhibit such a grave predisposition if she'd judged this to be a false alarm. No, Tsunade is not one to worry without solid reason, the silver-haired man notes to himself.

"There seems to be a young girl residing there who has, apparently, developed the ability to prophesise… I have no certainty about the accuracy of this information, but truth is that, according to the archives, there _have _been cases of genuine prophets amongst the Midorikawa clan. A long time ago, perhaps, but it is still quite possible…" she informs him, scratching her chin introspectively.

_Damn_. What a damn headache this is going to be, Kakashi swiftly deduces, and he sighs in advance. He knows that the Rain are their allies now, and he is well-aware that Tsunade will be required by intervillage etiquette, but also by her own sense of morality, to send help. Of course, if the Rain intelligence is correct about the Akatsuki threat, sending anyone completely unable to handle them would result in a bloodbath. Kakashi cringes at the thought. On the other hand, sending Konoha's strongest shinobi might _also_ result in a bloodbath, with the only difference being that it will be the village itself that will be left completely defenceless and at the mercy of a possible attack.

Well, at least now he knows why the Hokage's looking so terribly grim, which is some degree of progress, he observes bitterly but not without amusememnt.

_Meh, that was bad humour during the wrong moment_, he subsequently scolds himself.

"Madara Uchiha with a prophet in his hands is a risk I cannot take, Kakashi." the Godaime continues, deliberating as she lets her gaze travel around the room. Well, perhaps it is time for him to speak as well.

"Whatever their short-termed goal might be, their long-term one is still the acquisition of the Bijuu. If you send out important forces and leave Naruto behind, and then it turns out to be a trap in order to weaken the village's defences and get to the boy…" the jounin observes, and although he does not finish his sentence, he is certain he does not need to. She is an exceptionally sharp woman, he knows, and she will have thought of that possibility, too.

They don't say much for a few seconds, and he finds her looking oddly agitated. Kakashi, however, appears to be as calm and composed as ever, even though dark and ominous possibilities are unfolding inside his mind; very worrisome ones.

* * *

"Send **me**." he says after a few minutes of meticulous consideration; and although it might sound like a silly, self-sacrificial request, it is made with the full knowledge of its implications. He simply cannot think of any better alternative.

"You alone, Hatake, or your team?" she asks, and she drills her imposing stare into his mostly hidden face. The copy-nin considers her question for a moment. He had meant himself alone, of course, but since the Hokage requests him to, he carefully weighs the pros and cons of his entire team being sent.

If it is indeed a trap meant to leave the village vulnerable in order for the Akatsuki to be able to grab the Jinchuuriki, then it would be a good plan; securing Naruto away from the village during a possible invasion.

And yet, without team Kakashi, would Konoha be able to defend itself against such a terrible threat? Hiashi, Gai, Inoichi, Shikaku… The village has many excellent shinobi, he tells himself, respectable and strong and worthy… Nevertheless, and without meaning to insult his fellow warriors, he knows they'd stand no chance against the cursed Akatsuki without Naruto's inspirational power, without Sakura's healing prowess and his own experience, his own intrepidity. He winces at the vision of absolute destruction that flashes before him, and decides against allowing that to happen.

If, on the other hand, the Akatsuki do come for the prophet… Would team Kakashi alone be able to handle them, to both push them back _and _ensure that Naruto does not fall into their hands? And Sasuke… is Naruto-kun … are _any of them _ready to face him, to kill him if they must? _It's too early for the showdown_, he concludes not without desperation. They need time.

"Send me alone. Naruto needs time." he ultimately persists, and there isn't anything carefree about his expression anymore. The small portion of his face that is visible shows nothing but the most profound concern. No one could possibly be eager to go fight Madara on his own and subsequently die in a painful manner, but if he must… Kakashi is not one to fear death; he's simply seen too much of it to fear it anymore.

"I don't think I can do that. We already lost Jiraiya that way, you know. As strong as you are, it is most probable that you will lose. And your sacrifice… I doubt the little time it will provide us with will be worth it." she replies, and although she tries to appear sorry to be rejecting his proposal, she seems rather ferocious about it. _Ah_, realises Kakashi, _she has already made her mind then_. She did not actually mean to give him any choice on the matter.

"I have estimated that it is more likely that someone from the Akatsuki _will_ ultimately show up in Rain, instead of this being some kind of large-scale distraction. And I believe that your team is the only one that would stand a chance against them. Naruto Uzumaki _will _have to face them sooner or later anyway, so perhaps the time has come. I believe in him." the blonde adds, and although her voice does waver a little, she seems rather resolute about it. And yet, despite the fact that he knows there is no changing Tsunade's mind once it has been made, Kakashi cannot help himself.

"They are not ready, Tsunade-sama! They are still children! They need more time!" he declares with surprising force, and then grits his teeth; deep inside however, he is laughing at himself and his pitiful outburst, because he knows that these kind of emotionally-ridden theatrics are completely in vain. This moment, this showdown, would eventually come, and there would be no avoiding it. _And yet, if they only had a little more time…_

"I **know** Kakashi, believe me. But Madara is growing more powerful by the minute, and if he _does_ get hold of a prophet, there will be no hope for Konoha anymore. Our chances are slim, but they are probably the best we'll ever have." she mutters resignedly, and her eyes seem a little humid. The jounin realises that this is very unpleasant for her as well, for she is a caring person, and loves both Sakura, her pupil, and Naruto, her 'adopted little brother', very dearly. And probably the rest of them, too; she loves entirely too many people, he concludes grimly.

She does have a point though. Naruto… As exceptional as his growth is, he could never close the gap between himself and Madara in time, especially if that insane Uchiha acquires a fair amount of knowledge concerning the future, Kakashi Hatake observes bitterly. He is no longer sure what to do, and so he remains silent, defeated.

_Obito-kun… I might be joining you in a few days. Pray, my old friend, that I join you alone, and that the rest of them make it, won't you?_

The discussion is pretty much over with, it seems. Only a few things left to clarify.

"When are we to leave?" the copy-nin questions dispassionately, and he pulls the obligatory porn back out from his jacket. There is no changing circumstance, or challenging rational orders; his eye hardens as he goes into mission mode, his lips thinning as he pushes himself to deal with the reality of things, instead of hoping they were different.

"0700 in three days, Hatake. Oh… and… don't you dare leave by yourself in the meanwhile, or do something equally moronic. I'll just let your team know you left in order to give them some more time, and you can be certain they'll rush right behind you." she observes coolly, trying to keep the tone of her voice as matter-of-factly as possible. Kakashi is well aware of that fact. He knows that his team would never let him leave by himself; they are a bunch of courageous fools, with perhaps the exception of Sai (who is nonetheless blending in more and more by the day), and they would certainly put themselves in great, unnecessary, stupid risks in order to go and fetch him.

_Damn idiots, they leave me no choice._

And so the silver-haired man nods, trying his best to look as accepting of the Hokage's decision as he possibly can. He needs not plague her with more guilt than she is already experiencing, he tells himself gently; he can see that she is already worrying to death and drowning in uncertainty. _No, there is indeed no need to pain her more_. Much like him, Tsunade has already experienced a very cruel number of personal losses; he feels for her, at times.

As he walks to the door, she calls for him again. "Kakashi!" she words gravely and commandingly, and she stands up abruptly, her rather imposing breasts wobbling ominously. When he turns around to meet her eyes, he finds her appearing equally tormented and resolved. It is a little heartbreaking, how she has to send away her loved ones towards danger and possible death, but he knows this is pretty much her job description; and it is why _he _would never make a good Hokage.

"I need you to remember that, no matter what, our jinchuuriki must not fall into their hands. Protect him with your life, please." she mutters, and suddenly her voice is hoarse with emotion, and she looks less like the Godaime and more like a woman, or perhaps even a mother. Nonetheless, the jounin discovers himself strangely insulted at her suggestion. He has always been one to readily give his life for this village; does she not know that? He needs not be _told _to protect his teammates no matter what.

_Those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum. This lesson has been learned._

_Never again will I be worse than scum._

Immediately she senses the hardness in his gaze and the slightly hostile clenching of his jaw, and even though he looks as cool and laid-back as always, Tsunade can tell she has aggravated him. She inwardly bites her lip a little; indeed her request came out a little wrong, didn't it?

"I know the kind of man you are, Kakashi. And even if I didn't, your… actions… during Pain's invasion, or during the whole Hiruko and Puppet curses ordeal… they would have left me with no doubt. What I'm trying to say is… Stay alive for as long as possible, and take no senseless risks. Because Naruto needs you to protect him, do you understand?" she states almost tenderly. Her syntax is a bit off, but Kakashi thinks he knows what she is trying to imply.

_Don't go dying for some random Rain citizen. Heroics are great and all, but it's your team you need to protect now; you can't protect everyone._

Or at least that's his rough translation of her words. Once again, he nods knowingly, his face softening again. Inside his mind though, he is smiling bitterly, because the happy faces of his old teammates appear before him, and then the sunny grin of his teacher, and the weary, affectionate visage of his father.

_You can't protect everyone._

_Believe me Tsunade-hime_, he whispers mentally, _this is also a lesson well-learned_.

Whistling cheerily and plunging back into his Icha Icha issue, he leaves.

* * *

A few times a week and for a few hours, Hatake has suggested that Sai should train his stamina and his strength along with Tenzou Yamato. A sensible suggestion really, since these two traits are perhaps what one could call his "weaknesses", and even though Yamato is superior to him in both domains, he is also in dire need of some training there.

Sai watches on somewhat indifferently as the brown-haired jounin uses his Earth Release and creates a mountain, and then a mountain path, and subsequently a large number of obstacles on said path; he does admit nonetheless that it must be pretty handy to be able to create your own training grounds with such ease. They spend the next few hours running and hopping up and down, and the more their bodies warm up, the more obstacles the older shinobi adds. All in all, it's a fairly normal, quiet and pleasant training session, Sai notes to himself factually.

And yet, the young ROOT member is paying very little attention to the actual training, avoiding the Earth Release-created barriers in a purely mechanical way. Fast reflexes and muscle memory working for him, he lets his mind wander off to all the confusing things he has been noticing around him, and all the strange feelings he's been encountering.

The one concept that weighs the most inside his mind however, is that of friendship; that supernatural bond that Naruto and Sakura seem to give so much importance to. It is to that strange power that he attributes his irrational desire to interfere when Naruto is suffering, to act out when Hatake Kakashi is in danger. And it is an odd driving force that he does not quite comprehend; something beyond orders and duty, something frightening and inexplicable.

Thus, during Sai's and Yamato's small break between intervals of intensive training, the young man decides to ask about it. He has never been shy about questions, after all.

"Yamato-taichou, how can you tell when someone is your friend?" he questions, seemingly out of the blue, the tone of his voice rather flat, but also gentle. The older shinobi glares at him somewhat incredulously, and then sighs, putting his lunch to the side.

"Well… Your friends are the people who would help you even when they're not obliged to by orders or ethics or social rules. And also, you'd do the same for them." Yamato explains, but Sai thinks that he does not sound too sure about himself; perhaps it is a concept that can not be explained easily with words. The pale boy and places his chin onto his palm pensively, analysing the somewhat quaint reply.

"Then Naruto is my friend, right? I helped him once. And he helped me, too. Neither of us were obliged, I think." Sai observes, and he turns around, placing his questioning gaze onto the older man. Yamato scratches the back of his head. Nervously. It is a difficult matter to discuss, and aiding sociopaths with their existential issues was never part of his job description. Nonetheless, he does like the boy, and he tries to do his best.

"Yes, I guess he is. And I am certain he thinks of you as his friend, as well." he tells the boy for lack of a more eloquent reply, and smiles at him. Sai smiles back, but his grimace feels like a simple exhibition of memetic ability. Yamato experiences a slight pang of discomfort.

"So, since you just helped me with my questions, even though you weren't obliged, if in turn I help you with something, we will be friends." Sai deduces rationally, and points an index towards the sky happily. It is not quite as difficult to understand as he thought it would be, he observes inwardly, feeling cheerful at the thought of mastering this important concept.

"It's not really that simple… But... Well, I guess…" the jounin begins hesitantly, avoiding the younger shinobi's gaze. At some point though, he does take a peek at the boy's face. The ROOT shinobi looks a little confused, and perhaps even a little disappointed, causing Yamato to feel terribly guilty. He does not finish his sentence. No use confusing the boy any further.

They get back to training.

This time, it is the jounin that is barely paying attention to the physical routine. His mind flies off to his own past, his isolation, his difficulties, his insecurities. In a sense, there is much in common between them, it occurs to him. Lonely orphans, putting their entire being into their existence as shinobi, always a little wary of society. He can understand the boy a little; perhaps even identify with him.

_Tenzou Yamato. A nameless __person, named only for the sake of convenience. A human experiment._

_A boy without family. Without friends. The only thing he has is a purpose; to be a powerful shinobi._

_A person with no identity. The cheap immitation of Hashirama._

_A number._

_A clone._

Yes, Yamato can understand Sai and his existential confusion better than anyone else in their team possibly could.

"Sai. Can you help me tie this leg protector?" he asks the young man softly. Sai approaches him, his face an unreadable sculpture, and without a word, he kneels to help him.

"Thank you." The jounin mutters, and he smiles at the boy.

"You could have done it yourself. But you wanted to give me the chance to help you. You wanted me to help you, so that we could be friends." The pale shinobi states matter-of-factly as he stands back up, and his eyes, dark and intense and even a little frightening, examine the older man's face carefully.

"Yes." Yamato admits almost immediately, and although his expression is somewhat awkward, he tries hard to curve his lips upwards.

"Thank you." Sai tells him.

"For what?"

"I am not sure" the ROOT member replies quite flatly, and he stares off at the distance, looking rather troubled. When he eventually turns his head towards the older man, he is smiling again. And his smile, despite the fact that it is still a little eerie, is rather heart-warming.

* * *

When Sakura walks into the library, Yamato is one of the last people she expects to find there. And yet there he is, sitting quietly behind a large table with a concentrated expression on his face, studying a rather large tome. She finds it endearing how he is so drawn by his reading that he does not even lift his head when she approaches him; in fact, he only notices her when she greets him.

"Oh, hey." The jounin greets her back, and she comes even closer, really curious to discover what it is that he is so drawn into. The rather complex study on developmental psychology and paedopsychology lying open before the chestnut-haired man comes as a real surprise to her. _Why would he possibly be interested in that subject_, she wonders, interest piqued.

"Thinking about getting yourself a genin team?" she finally questions, and there is a sweet, caring smile on her face that catches Yamato quite unprepared. Not an illogical deduction seeing the subject of his studying, the man thinks. She is a very smart girl. ...Woman. ...Young woman?

"Not exactly… I guess that hanging around with Sai so much has caused me to seek answers in books more often that I should." he replies a little awkwardly, and even though he finds his attempt at humour rather weak, her smile widens.

"Well, I think that's a great thing. I always thought that our shinobi need more brain and less brute strength. Of course, the best is to have them both, like Tsunade-sama, but if I had to choose…" the pink-haired kunoichi tells him cheerfully, and she walks off towards a nearby shelf. _Brain and brute strength, huh_… he thinks to himself. She has an impressive amount of both, and yet she did not offer herself as an example. She severly underestimates her own achievements.

Sakura has spent most of her life being overshadowed by her male teammates, Yamato knows; and although she has now grown into a great kunoichi, she also seems to have become an exceptionally modest and supportive person. Nothing like the irritating little girl he vaguely remembers from before they were even properly acquainted.

She takes a book on "Medical Chakra Molding" out of some shelf and, nodding her greeting towards the jounin, she runs back out of the library. Towards the hospital, he knows; she is working really hard there. That is perhaps the reason why she has matured into a kind, helpful but also hardened kunoichi, instead of the selfish person he seems to remember her being. All this fighting pain, illness and death does not really allow the luxury of coquetry and self-absorbtion.

His team is made of admirable individuals, Yamato comments inwardly and smiles.

* * *

Kakashi Hatake stands before the memorial stone, and its smooth, reflective surface is throwing the sun into his eye so cruelly that he squints. He knows that his team will be waiting for him at the training grounds, but today he has still a lot to tell his friend, and they will simply have to wait a little while longer.

"Obito-kun… I am not really sure what to do, you know. Should I already tell them of the mission? Or should I wait until the very last moment? It's not very nice, keeping this from them, and yet... If I tell them now, I'm afraid their reaction might not be for the best; Naruto-kun, for once, will train himself to death during these three days, and will end up exhausted and unprepared." the masked jounin murmurs, placing the palm of his hand against the cold marble. He does not want to see Naruto's name on here, ever.

"I'm also afraid that Sakura-chan will barely be able to sleep. The possibility of seeing Sasuke again, of facing him as an enemy… She is strong, but when it comes to him… Yamato-kun will probably be worrying as well; he sees the kids as his responsibility, in part. Only Sai will be able to handle the news calmly, and that's only because he is as detached from reality as I used to be, so many years ago. I'm not even sure that's a good thing." he adds quietly.

The vision of a young boy, beaming and full of energy, smiles at him supportively. Kakashi still sees him, as clear as day.

_Always._

"You know what? I can't tell them yet. Let them have fun until the mission, neh?" he finally concludes, smiling at his lost friend, his comrade. His smile is bittersweet, but no one can see it anyway, because no one is there, and because it is well hidden behind dark, smooth fabric. And suddenly he feels his eye tingling, as if tears are coming up; only it isn't his own eye, but Obito's Sharingan.

"I am not sure whether than means you agree or disagree, but since I might soon be joining you, you'll tell me then." he states factually, and shrugs. The ghostly boy stares at him, and he stares back, savouring the connection.

He walks off.

* * *

"You're late!" they yell at him when he eventually gets there. It has become some kind of little ritual; the routine that makes them a team.

"I'm sorry. I met a ghost on my way, and we talked about really dangerous missions." Kakashi mumbles, wearing his usual comical grimace, and then he squints his eye smilingly, looking a little embarassed. And so they snicker knowingly at his stupid excuse, rolling their eyes at his usual slacking. Only Naruto seems to sense that there is something off about the silver-haired jounin's behaviour today.

He does not ask, though.

He simply stares for a while longer, before they ultimately split into two separate teams and start sparring.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: "I claim dis!"

"That's what SHE said!"

"Duuuude!"

A/N: Hehe. Three days left to tie loose ends. Lets see how our dear Kakashi will handle the pressure of this knowledge. *sadistic writer chuckles*

To NougatEvolution: Seriously, I love you. Both your reviews here and the ones on Wand Cores are frequent and helpful; you_ make me want to write_. You are the cure for writer's block. Thank you so incredibly much. Also, sorry for this fic being a little difficult on those who have forgotten their canon, but it's quite hard to start from scratch when you're trying to write a study on a rather complex character, like Hatake. I'll try to tone it ladywinterfic: Thank you for the kind words. Also, Kakashi, generally speaking, has a lot of faith in his students, and worries about them less than mother-he… I mean, Iruka. But this is the Akatsuki we're talking about. And –Sasuke-. Anyone would be worried. Even Gai.

To Girlwithfavourites: Actually I've noticed that too! Yamato saves Sakura's ass quite a few times, and they seem to be getting rather familiar with one another in the manga. I wonder why people have not been noticing that.

To the rest of you, I'm really grateful for your reviews. They are truly important for a writer; they are, in fact, vital.

* * *

Chapter 4

After more than a few hours of admittedly exhausting training the younger members of team Kakashi are sitting around panting, and even Yamato looks a little flushed. Hatake, on the other hand, looks just like he always does, cool and smooth, albeit a little sweatier. Naruto has a really huge grin on his face though; he can truly feel himself improving, and it's a wonderful sensation.

Sakura, on the other hand, looks crestfallen. It's an expression that she rarely ever wears these days; she's been tempered into iron by her medical work, but also her various missions as a kunoichi. It is, in fact, so unusual for her to appear so thoroughly disappointed, that Naruto, who's been throwing concerned looks towards her, decides to ask.

"Maaaah, Sakura-chan. You seem down. Is something the matter?" he questions a little tentatively, a frown creasing on his forehead. She turns her face to him and smiles somewhat wearily, reassuring him that all's fine. The jinchuuriki is not convinced, however.

"Sakura… We've been teammates since, like, forever, and I can tell when you're keeping something from me, you know." he states in a quieter, mature voice, deducing that perhaps it's a personal matter, that the girl does not want to discuss it in front of the whole team. Suddenly, she throws a strangely angry glare at him, and she gets up abruptly.

"I'll tell you what the matter is! I thought I was making good progress, you know. I was gaining some confidence for once, lately. But then you… all of you… You're just so insanely powerful! Kakashi-sensei has some kind of legendary father, and a Sharingan, Yamato-taichou has his amazing genes, Sai's been training with the best ever since he was a toddler, and you have a goddamn tailed beast inside you! How am I supposed to compare! I'm just some civilian girl! I'm feeling like my pathetic pre-adolescent self all over again..." she spits, frustrated, and kicks a rock so hard that it flies off to the distance. Tsunade's training has pushed her physical strenght to frightening levels.

Then she chuckles, and mutters something about being a silly woman, the tension disappearing from her face. Nonetheless, her teammates have taken her words quite seriously; Naruto, especially, seems very troubled. It is Kakashi who replies to her, however, offering her one of his invisible grins.

"Nonsense, Sakura-chan. You've been getting stronger at an extraordinary rate. The only reason you can't beat me or Yamato yet is because we have a ridiculous amount of experience; we've had way, way, way more time to learn jutsus and hone our reflexes. You will easily surpass us in a few years, perhaps even less." he declares cheerfully, beaming at her through his happily squinted eye. Yamato nods his enthusiastic agreement. Sai thinks they look like clowns everytime they are around an angry woman.

"I doubt that's true. Lately I am constantly being rescued by you guys; and it feels really shameful. You all have these extraordinary natural advantages…! I doubt I can make up for that. You are all so lucky!" she murmurs, and although she tries her best not to whine, it does come off a little childish. Naruto can understand her insecurities, he really can. And yet, he can't help but feel a little angry at her words.

"Oh, we're lucky huh? I'm lucky to be the jinchuuriki, right? Even though the price was growing up all alone, not knowing why everyone is afraid of me, and now being chased by a group of lunatics. And Kakashi is lucky too, I guess. His father missing on missions all the time and then dying must have been great. And he must be thrilled he got his dead friend's eye! And let me not start on Yamato-taichou. I mean, he's sure lucky to be some kind of genetic experiment; you'd love to be in his position. Or Sai's, right? It must be great being a child killer that has been brainwashed to forget your loved ones!" he tells her coolly, his eyes accusing.

_Ouch._

The two jounin flinch at his rather cruel words and the mention of their not entirely pleasant backgrounds, while the young woman's lips part as she throws her eyes downwards embarrassedly. She looks downright miserable now, while the rest of them seem to be oddly tense; and so Naruto immediately regrets his little outburst.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean… I'd just give **anything **to be in your position you know. To have my parents with me, and not have a damn fox instead. And I… Sorry, Sakura-chan." He mumbles, avoiding the young girl's gaze. He shouldn't be the one feeling bad about this, she thinks to herself, however.

_It is me who just behaved like a spoiled little girl._

"No, **_I'm_** sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Yamato-taichou, Kakashi-sensei, Sai-kun, forgive me." she says a little hurriedly, her cheeks flushing. "I just don't want to be the one that needs to be saved. I also want to be able to protect the people I care for." she adds, very quietly. Yamato decides that it's probably his turn to say something; after all he's spent a lot of time with the young woman during these last two years, and he does not like seeing her so troubled.

Now if only he was a little better with words.

"I… uh… Well… Tsunade-hime was quite like you when she was young, you know. And now she's Hokage. So I think you worry too much about it. And after all, without you we would've been in terribly bad trouble more than a few times. Especially without your medical jutsu. You're an indispensible member of this team, you know… and… erm, yeah. You're cool." he tries his best to declare convincingly, and then he concludes that it was quite a pathetic display for a man approaching his thirties.

Somehow though, it seems to be exactly what Sakura needed to hear, and so her lips slowly curve into a smile, her eyes regaining their warm shine.

"Thank you, Yamato-taichou. That means a lot to me." she tells him and bows her head a little. With her head little lowered like that, only Naruto, who is standing right next to her, can discern the characteristic blush spreading onto her cheeks. And although he knows it's probably just her modesty causing the blood to rush into her cheeks, the jinchuuriki can't help but feel intrigued.

Strangely enough he does not feel jealous at all, however. He is simply glad to see her happy again.

* * *

"I'll treat you all to dinner tonight." Kakashi Hatake suddenly declares, while they are going through their evening Genjutsu routine, causing them to freeze. He immediately feels a bunch of disbelieving stares drilling into him full of suspicion. Yes, perhaps that was out of character, he realises, facing their incredulous expressions.

"You must be lying. You'd never willingly pay for dinner." Naruto declares with gravity, pointing his finger towards the jounin accusingly. Yamato's lip is twitching with amusement, while Sai seems to be really confused, as if a pillar of behavioural certainty just crumbled before him.

"Let's say I had an epiphany while I was being lost in the road of life this morning." the copy-nin replies casually, shrugging and then gluing his face back into the pages of Icha Icha paradise. It's this chapter where Reiko finds out that she has actually been sleeping not with Shin'Ichi, but with his sadistic twin, Ken'Ichi; the plot is quite sincerely exciting.

"It still sounds pretty suspicious, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, because I'm a good person and all. And also because free food sounds tremendously appealing." Naruto says, smiling brightly at his sensei and looking mildly dreamy.

_Tremendously appealing?_

Since when does Naruto-kun use such rather complex expressions, Kakashi wonders, eyeing the young man with interest. Perhaps he's been reading books, he concludes; he _is _growing up after all. _Maybe he is ready to read Icha-Icha_. Kakashi toys with the thought. He decides agains it.

The blond's dazzling smile really makes him feel great about his rather impulsive food-paying decision, too. He is nearly not mourning all the money he's going to be wasting.

"He wouldn't be doing something so disgustingly nice without a reason. It is against his sly nature. I believe he is probably attempting to convince us into doing something for him, and since the only thing Kakashi-sensei seems to like is porn, I therefore deduce he is doing this so that we will be convinced to offer him our porn. His plan has a loophole though. We _have _no porn." Sai explains pleasantly, his pale face glowing with eerie cheeriness.

Sakura giggles at the truly awesome analysis; Sai has learned to use his factual style of speech to actually produce humour, she thinks fondly. Naruto ruffles the boy's black hair mumbling something about his amazing insights, and Yamato just stares, a mask of fake exasperation worn on top of his growing amusement.

_This is bound to be a great night_, Kakashi conludes with finality, watching over his team affectionately.

He pushes off the thought of Madara as far as he can.

* * *

A few hours later they are downing their fifth cup of ramen, and there are quite a few empty bottles of sake on the counter before them. Naruto's face is flushed and glowing with endless happiness, his arms tighly wrapped around Sai's and Sakura's shoulders and his feet swinging around the stool. He is babbling on about some surreal stories related to all the great exploits he is going to become famed for once he is Hokage.

Kakashi is not being quite as loud or drunk as the rest of them (even Sai is somewhat loud when drunk, he observes not without surprise), since he is quite used to alcohol. Once again he distances himself a little, at least mentally, and he watches them. He finds a strange pleasure in watching those he cares for being alive and having fun; perhaps it is because he does not take it for granted.

Most of all, he watches the jinchuuriki, feeling himself oddly moved by the incredible warmth on the boy's face.

_You're going to become Hokage soon enough, Naruto-kun, I believe it. Whatevers happens, you'll survive all the hardship that's coming for us, and you'll __fulfil your dream. I swear it._

"Yeah, he used to sleep with the plushie even after he became ANBU. But don't tell him, he'll kill me!" Yamato whispers in a conspiratory manner; he is becoming quite loose-tongued now that he's downed some sake, Kakashi notes to himself. He is quite entertaining, actually.

"Really…? Raidou? That's awesome!" Naruto yells, a grin splitting his face in two. Kakashi is not really sure why sleeping with a plushie is awesome, but he nods his agreement anyway.

"Shhhh, keep it out down, Naruto-kun. This is very confidential information." Yamato hisses, looking around him worriedly. The copy-nin can understand why; even a drunk man does not want to face a severly pissed-off Raidou. Naruto winks at him knowingly, and then pretends, in a very unconvincing fashion, to be talking about a completely unrelated subject. Something about toads, the jounin vaguely realises.

Sakura, also slightly flushed due to the effects of alcohol, is holding her stomach, and Hatake can't really tell if it's due to having eaten too much, or due to having giggled too much. Probably both, he deduces resignedly and pours himself another glass of sake. Too bad he can't bring himself to have fun tonight; the knowledge of the mission that awaits them weighs heavily on his mind.

_This team… My team... It could be one of its last moments._

Sai, who apparently handles alcohol in an abysmally bad way, is stuttering something utterly silly in his usual cool, pragmatic manner. The rest of them are laughing loudly, and even Kakashi finds himself smiling widely behind his mask. If only that underlying pain in his chest, that guilt, would go away…

It is far past midnight when they eventually leave, and that's only because Teuchi, the owner of Ichiraku Ramen, was actually beginning to fall asleep. His daughter, Ayame, was already snoring in a corner of the shop. To the team's great surprise, Hatake Kakashi, true to his word, actually pays for everything, including the drinks. Sakura stares at her teacher and rubs her eyes partially to make sure she isn't dreaming, and partially because she is horribly sleepy.

* * *

Outside the shop, they wish each other good night with cheery drunken movements, and eventually split up towards their respective residences. And then there's that crossroad again, where the only ones to turn left are Kakashi and Naruto. As soon as they are left alone, Naruto, to his teacher's surprise, immediately stops babbling cheerfully and becomes quiet.

_He obviously does not feel so much at ease with me_.

But the jounin is actually wrong. He knows that as soon as he turns around and finds the young man staring at him with a serious, examining glare. Although it is quite obvious that the blond is somewhat drunk, his expression is actually pensive. Suddenly Kakashi feels strangely uneasy; did he do something to upset the kid?

"Neh… Sensei… You're not acting normal. This morning, and during dinner... I'm slightly worried about you." Naruto finally mutters, his voice faltering a little due to the influence of sake, but his intentions far from humorous. The jounin is taken aback. He's always been an absolutely flawless actor, able to hide the most incredible amounts of torment and pain under his beloved mask. And yet Naruto-kun, who's not even _that _observant as a general rule, appears to have sensed he is hiding something from them.

"Naruto… You know, you shouldn't call me sensei anymore. We are all equal members of a team now. Plus, chances are you are much stronger than me, too." he tells the boy light-heartedly, hoping that the flattery will get him rambling about his future exploits again. It doesn't, however.

"Well, the team is under _your_ command. And anyway, that's a silly answer. In fact, I think you're avoiding my question and changing the subject. But I guess it might be something personal, so I won't insist, okay?" Naruto says. The last sentence is spoken rather softly, and Kakashi feels, momentarily, terrible for keeping the upcoming mission a secret from the boy. And yet, he knows he can do no different. That stupid young man will probably chakra-exhaust himself if he finds out, training like an obsessive moron day and night; the idea of Sasuke turns him compulsive like that, the jounin remembers with bitterness.

_I need to find a way to avoid this partciular conversation._

* * *

And then the silver-haired man realises that he actually_ does_ want to have a conversation with the boy. Well, young man now. He might be dying soon enough, and he doesn't want to have any regrets about his life; at least not any _more _regrets than the ones he has already been carrying for years.

"Naruto-kun… Do you want to take a walk with me before we go home?" he suggests, and he is surprised to find his voice weak and uncertain; as insanely powerful as he is when it comes to fighting, especially with having mastered his Kamui, he is still never too sure of what to do when it comes to people. Especially the people he cares about. The jinchuuriki looks at him inquisitively, but he smiles and nods anyway, following the older man in silence.

"I wanted to tell you… I'm sorry." The silver-haired shinobi phrases evenly at some point, the small visible portion of his face expressionless.

"What are you even talking about?" Naruto immediately replies, not in the loud, childish manner that he would have a few years back, but with some measure of concern instead. He has no idea what this could possibly be about. His eyes fall onto his teacher's face looking for a sign, but as usual, the jounin is unreadable. His reputation of being "mysterious" is not unfounded.

"I'm talking about the fact that I was terrible teacher." the older shinobi replies factually, although inwardly he cringes at the sound of this unpleasant truth. Naruto's frown deepens at that explanation.

"You were a great teacher, Kakashi-sensei. You and Jiraiya were the best teachers ever. And Iruka-sensei, too, although I barely learned anything from him, even though he really tried. I was such an idiot, back then…" he states quite seriously, and he stops walking, staring at the jounin intensely. Kakashi finds the ferocious blueness of his eyes unsettling; and surprisingly he does not think of Minato this time.

"No, I wasn't. I didn't devote nearly enough time to you. Or to Sakura-chan, to be honest. I even pawned you off to Ebisu at some point, remember? I should have known better." the silver-haired man responds. Naruto finds it really weird that the tone of the man's voice is so casual and cool even though they are discussing something serious like that. The jinchuuriki purses his lips in thought.

"No, you were not a bad teacher, not really. I was dead last, and I am well-aware that I was being both loud and annoying. It is only normal that you'd focus on Sasuke-kun. I don't like saying it, but he was much stronger than me at the time.l" the blond mutters after a few moments of silence, only he sounds somewhat less sure of himself now. He wonders what Kakashi-sensei is trying to say with all this.

"No, you weren't much weaker than them, Naruto-kun. In fact, you had great power, and great potential, and I knew that at the time, too. Your ability was not the reason why I didn't focus on you. It was because I made a terrible mistake; I assumed that Sasuke needed me more than you did, with everything that had happened to his family, and so I focused on him instead. I was too blind to see that you were suffering just as much, and were simply being braver about it. You were very good at appearing to be doing fine." Kakashi says, so gently that he almost doesn't recognise his own voice. And yet, his face remains oddly blank.

Naruto's lips part in disbelief.

He has never before heard the jounin speaking about his own private thoughts and feelings like that, and it had also never crossed his mind that Kakashi might have tossed him aside not because he thought him more useless than the rest, but because he thought him _more self-sufficient._

"But you were right. Sasuke needed you more than I did, sensei. Sasuke-kun… If I too had known just how badly he was suffering inside, I would have done my best to help him as well. I am glad you focused on him, even though there was nothing we could have done for him, after all." the young blond insists, and Kakashi can barely believe how tenaciously the boy keeps defending him, even though he's been such a terrible bastard. He's not sure he deserves that much respect.

In fact, he's pretty sure he doesn't.

"There's also another reason I was very hesitant to teach you, Naruto-kun…" he begins tentatively, and his uncovered eye wanders off into the night. The young man examines his face curiously, for this is not Kakashi's usual endearing nervousness, or his theatrical embarrassment about being late; this is the copy-nin appearing truly uncertain, truly reluctant.

"Say that… Sasuke was gone forever, sacrificing himself _for your sake_, and that, years later, you were told to teach a genin team. Only one of the kids was… just like Sasuke. What would you do?" Kakashi nearly whispers the question, and his face is turned upwards, towards the moon. The pale light is making his hair shimmer like strands of metal. For a moment Naruto is so distrated by that sight, that he does not even realise the question is directed to him, and not simply rhetoric.

"I guess… I'd do my best to make him really happy." the blond replies irresolutely, Sakura's words echoing in his mind.

_That boy, Obito… He didn't look like Uchiha. In fact, he looked a lot like you._

Naruto begins to realise where this is going, and he finds the copy-nin terribly brave for talking out loud about it.

"Theoretically, yes. But would you, really?" Kakashi insists, this time speaking quite forcefully, and there is finally real emotion in his voice, breaking out from beneath his admirable composure. Naruto is rather astonished by the raw urgency in the jounin's voice, and he tries his best to picture that imaginary situation, and how he would react to it.

They stand there, silently and numbly, until he finally comes up with a reply.

"No, I wouldn't. I would avoid him, I guess. He'd be like a ghost for me, or something, and I'd feel pain every time I would lay my eyes on him. Perhaps… perhaps I would even be angry. See him as a bad substitute, or, like, an imitator. Someone trying to take Sasuke's place and replace his face in my memories." The words are spoken very timidly, very slowly, and they are barely heard between the rustling of the wind and howling of the dogs.

_Kami, he hit the nail on the head, didn't he? He has truly matured, _the copy-nin thinks, and almost shivers at the boy's intuitive reply.

"I'm really sorry." Kakashi then repeats, with simplicity. And this time Naruto finally understands what the older man has been trying to apologise about, and he nods with both gravity and understanding. Deep inside, there is a thought making Naruto smile bitterly.

_"I could have never imagined that someone who looked as strong, as self-sufficient as you, could possibly be hurting_."

Naruto thinks it is quite ironic that they had both made the exact same assumption about one another.

The exact same mistake.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Sai. I do own a kettle that has a similar emotional spectrum, however.

A/N: _IMPORTANT!_ From here and on I will be straying from canon, unfortunately, since I do not yet know of Yamato's canon fate after his having been kidnapped by Kabuto. In my version, he's managed to escape, obviously. Otherwise he wouldn't be in Konoha. So please, bear with my tampering.

To the reviewers: Thank you very, very much for the support. If there is anything you want to ask in a review feel free, I always reply. And don't forget: reviews are to the author as apples are to the Shinigami.

* * *

Chapter 5

The door of Naruto's apartment opens with a soft creaking noise, and the young man stumbles in, slightly intoxicated, but with his mind clear and reeling. He does not bother turning the lights on; the pale rays of moonlight creeping into the room are quite enough for his trained eyes, and besides, he's lived here his entire life and could navigate the place blindly if he needed to. He cannot bother undressing either. Still wearing his training gear, he collapses onto the small bed.

He momentarily thinks of Sakura's sweet laughter ringing inside the ramen store, and then of Sai's awkward but endearing jokes. He thinks of Yamato's amusing tales, and of his slowly unravelling personality. Most of all, though, he thinks about his teacher.

_I'm really sorry_.

That's what Kakashi had told him, at first gently, and then, the second time, with his disharmonised eyes serious and piercing, impassioned even. He'd never seen these eyes in such a state, both revealed and both alight, during anything less than a fight to the death. And although Naruto had often fantasised about Konoha's citizens, remorseful after the blond's inevitable rise to power, muttering humbly that they'd been wrong about him, and asking for his forgiveness, Kakashi-sensei had never been amongst the people he'd wanted to see apologise.

It just feels wrong for this invincible, aloof, blasé shinobi to be speaking to him in such a manner. And then to be eyeing him with tired, pleading eyes, just before they part.

He is simply too used to looking at the silver-haired jounin from below, the jinchuuriki realises; to be looking up to him as a teacher, as a stronger warrior, as a superior in Konoha's power pyramid, as a role-model. This is the role that Naruto had always attributed to his genin instructor, and now that roles are crumbling between them, he cannot help but feel unsettled.

Kakashi had always been the one to catch him when he fell; when he'd exhausted himself after training, when he'd battled Pein, when he'd been poisoned… He'd always been the one saving people, the one coming up with the plan.

_How odd it is now to realise that Kakashi is only human, himself._

However, the truth is that Naruto is not entirely sure of why he is so terribly agitated about this little incident. It was more of a... randomly profound talk and less of an incident, anyway. What he does know, is that his heart is still beating quickly inside his chest, as if he'd witnessed a crime, or some other well-hidden secret. And even though he has already eaten an incredible amount of food, he gets up to make himself a cup of instant noodles, if only because he doesn't want to sleep yet.

As he pours the boiling water, the young man's thoughts flicker away to Hatake's childhood, and then to his own. He smiles bittersweetly.

_When he first met us, as genin, we were a group of immature, naïve twelve-year olds. How laughable we must have been in his eyes, he who at twelve had already seen so much death, had gone through so many losses, he who already knew so much more about the cruelty of the world we live in. Sakura's little crush, Sasuke's obsessive behaviour, my own desperate attempts to get attention… _

_What does he think of us now?_

_Does he still see the… friend he lost, when he looks at me? Does he see my father? And now that he can occasionally see me, Naruto Uzumaki, as my own person, does he see hope for the future there, or does he simply see his own, supposed failure as a genin instructor?_

_How bad does he hurt__, I wonder, when he looks at me?_

_Does he hurt as bad as I do, when I come across a picture of Sasuke before his eyes were taken over by his hatred of the world? If so, then I cannot blame him for having taken so long to see me for who I am. There's nothing to be sorry about. I understand._

_I understand in the same way that I understand Sakura too, that loves me truly, as I know now, but can still not help herself noting the absence of Sasuke every single time she looks at me. I understand all about pain, now. _

_I am not a child anymore._

Naruto's eyes fall onto the slightly weathered picture of Team Seven, and he inwardly laughs at how people are so weak against the overwhelming power of their own past. His eyes sting a little as he breaks apart a pair of wooden, disposable chopsticks.

The noodles are gone within seconds, and the lights are still off.

* * *

"Well, Obito-kun… Since I tell you so much about my students, I thought it was only fair to tell them of you, too, you know. Well, I only told Naruto to be honest, but I think I'll tell Haruno too, one day, about our old Team. But I'll tell her mostly about Rin, I guess, since they are so much alike at times. I'm sure she'll listen carefully; she is a sentimental girl like that." the man mutters quietly, standing tall in front of the memorial stone. His single visible eye is soft as it falls onto the familiar names, and he feels the ghostly warmth of the dead embracing him.

He can't really compare it with the warmth of the living, however; but that's only because it has been entirely too long since the last time he'd let the living come close. And now he might only have two days ahead of him, and, perhaps, he regrets it a little.

"When we meet again, will you be mad at me, Obito-kun, for having lived such a meaningless, grey life? For holding onto you for so long, like a fool, and wasting my shots at happiness? Will you scold me and tell me of all the colourful, noisy, larger-than-life things you would have done in my stead, of how you would have made the most out of the time given to you? Or will you be pleased that I never forgot you, and that I carried you with me for so long?" Kakashi wonders, a dark smile forming behind the fabric as he brings his hand up against the cold, dead stone.

The vision of the Uchiha boy fades, and he starts walking towards the training grounds, his hands tucked into his pockets.

By the time the copy-nin reaches the training grounds, all traces of sadness are gone from his barely visible face, and he eye-smiles cheerily at the familiar little crowd. They are not really smiling back, though; which is understandable, since he _has _had them waiting for a few hours. He embarassedly awaits the upcoming scolding.

"You are LATE!" he is told, fingers pointed at him accusingly.

This time, however, these same words ring different to him. A bleak vision flashes before his eyes; a vision of the brutal, bloodied showdown against Madara, and of his teammates, falling in front of his eyes while he stands there, paralysed and unable to help. He sees himself kneeling next to their bodies, and telling them that they are his family, and that he loves them; only it is too late now, for they are dead and gone, and he, the undeserving one, has once again outlived them.

_You are LATE!_

"You are LATE!" he imagines Obito shouting at him, reproachfully. "You never told me that you loved me while I was alive, you idiot. Why tell me now, that I am no longer there to hear you?" He has to put great effort into not flinching visibly in front of his teammates, who are eyeing him with obvious concern.

_I am losing control_, he curses inwardly. _I'm too old for this job._

"Are you alright, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura questions, frowning, her intelligent green eyes examining him carefully. The rest of them are also sporting rather perturbed expressions, he notes, and he curses himself once more for handling the pressure less well than he would have liked to. It is** very** unlike him, too. He'd never been one to lose his composure due to an imminent suicide mission, nor was he one to be swayed by the fear of death. He briefly wonders why the hell he's so affected by this particular assignment.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. It's simply that, for a moment, I thought I'd left my... special book at home." he smoothly recovers, and he brings the little orange object out of his vest, eye-smiling brightly. He is relieved to see them roll their eyes, convinced; they are only too ready to believe he'd be devastated at the thought of going through a day without his obligatory porn.

"Mah, sensei, what will do today then?" Naruto asks, excitedly. Even though he's grown a lot during the last few years, his enthusiasm on the subject of training remains uncurbed.

Kakashi takes a deep breath, his tangled thoughts clearing out into a sudden decision. A reversal of his own plan.

_They need to know_, he tells himself,_ because I simply can't go on keeping this from them._

_And because we need to prepare._

"Today we're going to train something very specific, and relevant to our next mission. We're going to be training on how to deal with an opponent, when that opponent happens to… possess the Sharingan." he states as factually as possible, his voice calm and unwavering.

For a minute or so, there is absolute silence.

Naruto is staring at him with intense, blue eyes, and he notices the young man's jaw clench, his nostrils flare, and his nails digging imperceptibly into his pamls. Sakura's eyes are wide with both shock and pain, and her lips slowly part as she calculates the possible meaning of Kakashi's statement. Sai's already dark eyes darken even further, and he does not try to hide his growing hatred against all surviving Uchihas. As for Yamato, his usually light-hearted and fairly neutral expression turns grave and hard, his lips becoming thin as he waits for an explanation.

"There's only two people with a Sharingan left, except from you! And they are allies with one another! What kind of mission is it that we're talking about, here?" Naruto, who is clearly _not _willing to wait, shouts at him, fists closing tighter. The jinchuuriki's eyes are glowing with a flame so strong that, even though Kakashi can still look into them and remain as cool as always, he only barely manages to do so.

"There's been an Akatsuki assault against the Rain. Our intelligence claims that their target is a young prophet. Hokage-sama has decided that we cannot allow Madara to get hold of a source of information on the future, and is sending us to intervene. The involvement of either Madara himself or his direct subordinates is very likely." the jounin states in a rather mechanical voice, staring at each member of his team consecutively, examining their reactions.

"Eh! Don't go on talking to us in your formal-shinobi-voice! Is Madara really going to be there? The guy we don't even manage to touch?" the young blond questions, his tone forceful and demanding. Yamato cringes a bit at the reminder of just how badly they'd failed last time they'd faced that man; they'd been lucky he had other business to attend to.

"It's likely." Hatake replies, sighing loudly.

"And when you say direct subordinates do you mean… Could Sasuke also…" Sakura stammers, her brows knit and her eyes still wide, but not as watery as they would have been had she still been a little girl. Despite her feelings, her gaze is resolute and powerful.

"That is also likely." he says, and he lifts his forehead-protector, revealing a blood-red Mangekyou Sharingan. "Shall we begin?"

* * *

Yamato hasn't felt so nervous for quite a long time. He isn't a coward, of course; he went up against Ororchimaru by himself once, and he even managed to escape from Kabuto's clutch just a few months ago. It had been a fierce duel, that one, and it had left him with a long and deep scar running skewed from his neck all the way down to his thigh which was not painful anymore only thanks to Sakura's extraordinary medical skill, for Kabuto had been a surprisingly strong foe. The sneaky bastard had been hiding his true strength for a very long time.

What Yamato also knows though, is that he would have never managed to escape had Madara not been missing at the time.

_Uchiha Madara… Damn._

He's never been a coward, it's true, and he's always willingly risked his life for the Hidden village of the Leaf, but that cursed man is, quite simply, the stuff nightmares are made out of. Amazing time-space manipulation techniques, a fully mastered Sharingan, and now a fucking Rinnengan, as well. Generally, the young jounin isn't really a pessimist; you can't survive in ANBU by being anything else except from a realist, anyway. But this is simply ridiculous.

The training, too, has been discouraging. Even against Kakashi's less well-developed Mangekyou, he'd felt pretty much powerless; Doujutsu was never his battleground of choice.

Damnit.

Next to him, Naruto, Sakura and Sai are digging into a light lunch. Their faces are rather grim, he notes, and they barely exchange a word. The jinchuuriki's chakra is flaring quite badly around him, and his eyes are nearly frightening, shining with such sharp and deadly determination. The young woman seems to be taking it quite badly, too, but in an antirely different way; her face is hollow and plain, her eyes empty and passive. The Mokuton specialist is pained to see her in such a state, she who is generally such a beautiful, kind presence.

He knows, of course, that it is not fear that is causing Sakura to react thus; her having been enamoured with Sasuke is so well-known that it has even been written in her file. And yet, he clearly remembers their talk on her feelings for Naruto, back when he'd started transforming into Kyuubi, after meeting Orochimaru at the famed Bridge. He'd known, just by the look in her eyes, that she dearly loved her blond comrade, too. Once again, the young woman reminds him of Tsunade: despite her bouts of ire, she can't help herself loving people uncontrollably.

Like Tsunade, she'd been in love with the one that deflected. Like Tsunade, she'd realised how much she loved the other, too, only when they'd already given up, only after it was too late to even try.

Will she, like Tsunade, find love somewhere else entirely, only to lose it again?

_It is the fate of the strong kunoichi to forever carry wounded hearts?_

The most surprising reaction, however, is Sai's reaction, for the pale ROOT member never displays emotions strongly. And yet, there he is, his face clearly overwhelmed with anger, his eyes contaminated with hate. It is actually only on the subject of Sasuke that he's ever seen Sai show anything akin to rage. Yamato is still not certain why the young man displays such a passionate dislike against Sasuke Uchiha, but he can guess.

He can guess how Sai must feel, being the replacement (_replacement, _a word Tenzou knows well) of a man that both his teammates still love so faithfully, although he clearly does not deserve it. Ah, envy is known to be a strong driving force, Yamato muses, his eyes wandering into the sky idly.

"Yamato-taichou… Aren't you going to eat something? It's too much for us." Sakura suddenly offers, and picks up a nori-wrapped rice-call, holding it out for him. Touching, he mutters to himself. It is not the actual offer that moves him though; it is how she is still doing her best to smile at him, even though her lips are quivering a little.

"Ah! Thank you. I guess I got lost in thought." the brunette jounin answers, smiling back at the young woman and swiftly munching the gifted goods. Her eyes do not leave him even after he is done eating however, and Yamato wonders whether there is something she trying to ask for. Support, perhaps, since Naruto and Sai are both too drawn into their own emotional turmoils.

"You look worried. You shouldn't. I have a super technique that can break through any genjutsu, I should let you know." he observes humorously, causing her to raise her right eyebrow warily. His little conspiratory smirk is rather amusing, she then realises, and although she is still terribly worried, she can't help the edges of her lips twitching into a genuine, this time, smile.

"Really now… I wonder what it is." she asks, playing along, despite the obvious shakiness of her voice, and the slight wetness of her eyes.

Yamato beams a scary face at her.  
The one with the light coming inexplicably from below his face, even though there is no light source around that area.

She buries her face into her hands, chuckling. He feels like a damn idiot for still using this same old face on them after so long, but at least it can still make Sakura laugh.

_Or is she crying?_

* * *

Naruto does no feel particularly hungry anymore. Inside his mind, there is a raging hurricane of thoughts and emotions, and he really cannot concentrate even on the simple action of chewing. He gets up, and walks into the woods, where he knows he'll find Kakashi. Indeed, he soon traces the familiar chakra, and follows it until he comes face to face with the silver-haired jounin.

"Yo." The copy-nin greets him lazily. Naruto squints his eyes a little, and bites his lip.

"You did not find out about that mission today. You already knew! That's why you took us out for ramen, and that's why you decided to tell me all that stuff you've never told me before. Am I right?" he says, and despite his generally hot-blooded temperament, his voice is calm and serious.

"I was only told yesterday myself, actually. But yes, you are right, I guess. " Kakashi admits matter-of-factly, and he sighs; something which really seems to exasperate the young man even further. Naruto clenches his fists, and takes a few steps towards the older man, suppressing his ire. He should not be angry with his sensei before hearing his reasoning, he commands himself inwardly; the man has always done his best to protect them, after all.

"Why didn't you tell us right away?" he asks, and Kakashi is surprised to hear the boy's voice, because even though it is somewhat reproachful, it is still oddly soft. He lets his uncovered eye wander around Naruto's features, and even though he delays his reply, the young man does not repeat himself. Instead, he simply waits, even though he is far from known for his patience.

"Because I thought you guys might react in ways that would reduce our chances to make it out alive. I was afraid Sakura might have trouble sleeping, and than you would probably exhaust yourself training obsessively." the older man confesses, and Naruto is taken aback by his blunt honesty; he does not usually explain his thoughts so openly. And reluctantly, the jinchuuriki admits that Kakashi does have a point. On the other hand though…

"Yeah, but that's a bit hyper… hypa… hypocritical. Because obviously _you _have being acting strange yourself. Trying to keep this a secret and acting as if nothing were and worrying all by yourself seems to be tiring you out. So you are reducing _your _chances this way." Naruto observes, frowning, and even though he is not expressing himself very masterfully, the jounin knows that he is quite right.

"Also, that conversation about you being a bad teacher, it was you tying your loose ends, right? Don't you think that we have the right to tie our loose ends, too? Maybe we also have stuff to do before we go around dying!" he continues, pointing his finger at the older man. Naruto does not expect to be taken seriously, however; he expects the man to eye-smile apologetically, scratch the back of his head and shrug the issue off. He doesn't.

"I might have been wrong. In fact, please do prove me wrong by _not _acting self-destructively, and by helping Sakura not to do so, either. We need to be at top form, as you understand. It's a matter of life and death." his teacher tells him; only he is not speaking like a teacher, but as teammate to teammate. The gravity, perhaps even urgency in Kakashi's eye makes Naruto feel a little uneasy.

"As far as tying loose ends goes, you are absolutely right. You have two days, Naruto, today, and tomorrow. So you might want to start right now." Kakashi mutters matter-of-factly, and he squints his eye in his usual, cheery way, encouraging the jinchuuriki to vent a little. He must be keeping quite a few grudges against the jounin, if only for the times he'd been tricked into paying for ramen.

The young man blinks at Kakashi, astounded at the manner in which he instantly transformed from serious shinobi into aloof ero-sensei, and then smiles. At least it's good to know that no matter what, Kakashi is still Kakashi.

The boy turns around, and starts running back to the training grounds. He needs to apologise to Sakura, for not bringing Sasuke back, he thinks to himself, and he needs to tell her that he _did _love her, both her and Sasuke, in the best way he could. He wants to let Sai know that he is a great person, and that, despite everything, he is a good friend. He wants to tell Yamato that even though he has no name and no parents, he is still a person, and he is an awesome person, too, for saving their asses so often and for subtly strengthening their teamwork with his little tricks.

And also…

Kakashi, he needs to tell Kakashi that he was a great teacher, and that… In fact, there's simply too many things he wants to tell him, and suddenly he realises that when the older man told him to "start right now", he probably implied that he wants to know what Naruto has to say to _him._

Naruto turns around again, and runs back to the silver-haired jounin, who is still standing there, reading his Icha Icha peacefully.

* * *

Kakashi lifts one lazy eye from his book, and sees the boy turning back, with an odd expression on his face.

"Kakashi-sensei… I think you are a brilliant teacher. It is you who taught me the most crucial stuff bout life, you know. Like how teamwork is the most important thing, and how we must always look out for one another. And you also taught me to insist and not give up, and to never be afraid. And I don't care if at first you didn't see me for who I am, or if I reminded you of things you didn't want to be reminded of. It's okay that you weren't the first one to see me, because when you did, you saw me _better _that the rest, you were the first one to really believe in me."

The copy-nin slides the book back into his vest. An impassionate, heart-breaking speech, ridden with emotion and idealism, he notes; how typically Naruto. Beneath his mask, his smile is warm with fondness. He tries to ignore how deeply touching the boys word's really are.

"Also, I know I might be rude and prying into other people's businesses and whatnot, but I want to tell you that all these people that died and that you mourn for, I am sure they did so willingly. I don't mean that they wanted to die, rather that being a shinobi is a conscious decision of this danger. It's not right to feel guilty for them. I mean, during Pein's invasion, you also died protecting someone. Would it be right for Chouji to blame himself for it?"

Kakashi stands perfectly still. He'd not been expecting Naruto to go that far into his personal matters; he was expecting at most a bit of blame for pawning him off to Ebisu and for not being as kind and caring as Kurenai-sensei. But this…

"I was thinking about you last night. I get that you probably feel really bad outliving all these people you liked. I'd feel terrible, too, if I buried you and Sakura and Yamato and Sai and… Anyway, that doesn't mean that you should have died instead or something. I don't know if you actually think like that, but the way you just fight so recklessly during missions, as if you don't value your own life, it's pretty scary to me."

"Furthermore, I'm truly sorry for having been like a bad imitator of your Uchiha friend. And… I'm really glad you told me about it, because it explains some things, and also because it's important for me to know how the people I love feel. I know you are a very mysterious and private and perverted shinobi and everything, so it must have been difficult to tell me. But in the end… I remember how you always caught me when I got chakra-exhausted and all. And I wanted to let you know that you can tell me anything, so that I can know when _you _are falling, too, and catch you in return."

Kakashi just stares.

His lips part a little, but no sound escapes.

"Lastly, if I die, make sure everyone is alright and look after Sakura-chan, but most of all, make sure _you _are alright, too. Don't go on being sad for years or something. I mean, jinchuuriki literally means "human sacrifice", doesn't it? I'm okay with that, if it for the sake of my precious people. And if I die, I'll also get to tell that Obito kid how much you loved him, alright?"

"Oh, and when we eventually fight Madara and Sasuke, don't go saying something stupid like "stay behind". We're not kids anymore."

The young man concludes, a bittersweet, radiant smile on his face, and then he moves in and hugs the jounin, who lets himself be passively embraced, his eyes widening at the force with which the other body is wrapping around his. For a moment he toys with the thought of hugging the boy back, but even though he lifts his arms, he ends up dropping them back down.

His head is a mess. _Naruto..._

"Mah... It was still silly not to tell me about the mission, 'Kashi-sensei. I wouldn't do anything stupid. You should trust me by now, I've grown." the jinchuuriki states with a soft, amicable whisper, and the warm air brushes against Kakashi's skin.

Then Naruto leaves.

The older man stares at the whirlpool on his disappearing back, still a bit dazed by the small, sharp speech and the physical embrace.

_Yes, you've grown._

Slowly, like a budding flower, a strange, unfamiliar feeling awakens inside the former ANBU, the ruthless shinobi, the distant instructor. Something a tad more tender, something forgotten, like a memory from his childhood. Is it the feeling of having a real family? Kakashi wonders.

_Is it the feeling of caring for someone not because they are a teammate, a Konohan citizen, a comrade, but because you simply can't stop yourself from caring?_

Ah, damn. Now he's all distracted again, just as he was meant to be coming up with a team formation to use against Madara.

Damn.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsunade-sama. I do, however, wish I owned a pair of equally... imposing mammaries.

A/N: _IMPORTANT!: _As I've mentioned before, I will be **IGNORING RECENT CANON**. I planned the plot of this fic a while back, and I am not willing to tweak it in order to keep up with all the new information. So bear with me, and forgive me.

To the reviewers: Thank you so much for your kindness and support, I will try my best to start uploading regularly again both here and in my Harry Potter piece. You have been a source of inspiration for me.

* * *

Chapter 6

Despite his growing anxiety and discomfort at the thought of the upcoming mission, Kakashi Hatake's body is still seated in a rather lax and slouchy position, leaning as he is against a fallen tree. He is trying his best to concentrate on strategy and tactics, silently reviewing all the information he holds about the surviving members of the Akatsuki, but the deepest parts of his mind are oddly absent from this endeavor, dreadfully shaken by the power of Naruto's words, instead.

_The way you just fight so recklessly during missions, as if you don't value your own life, it's pretty scary to me._

_And if I die, I'll also get to tell that Obito kid how much you loved him, alright?_

_It's important for me to know how the people I love feel._

_So that I can know when you are falling, too, and catch you in return._

No, the masked jounin had certainly not expected such maturity, such piercing insight from Naruto's part, such sharp, meaningful remarks, and such a forceful embrace; and now he feels oddly disjointed, as if a surgeon has just cut open his soul, a soul no one had managed to peak into for the longest time. Almost an hour has passed since their intense, rather one-sided conversation, but the silver-haired man still feels the pressure of the jinchuuriki's body against his, like a phantom lingering over his numb skin. A man's body, as tall as his own, and probably as strong, trying, in the best, most sincere way Naruto knows, to convey a message.

_I care about you._

The so-called scarecrow gets up abruptly, and walks off towards the rest of the team, an obligatory tome of Icha-Icha Paradise in hand, impulsively deciding that matters of combat formations, synergy and co-operation should be discussed with all of them. He is not willing to take all the weight of decision-making upon his shoulders again, for, as the young Uzumaki had just remarked, they were all grown shinobi now; comrades, equals. He was not ready to blame himself for new deaths.

The others watch his drooping figure approach with somber, drab expressions, Sakura's green eyes especially resentful, accusing him openly for not having told them of this mission as soon as he'd been, himself, informed.

He inwardly braces himself for a temper tantrum, and at least a few blaming fingers pointed in his general direction, but the blow never comes; instead, he is greeted with coolness and gravity, and he notes to himself once again that he should stop underestimating his former students, and their certainly admirable self-control.

In Konoha, everyone learns how to wear a mask, sooner or later.

* * *

"Yo. We must discuss strategy and combat. I need your input on this." the older man claims matter-of-factly, his dark, visible eye ever emotionless, and he seats himself along with the rest of the Kakashi Team, waiting impassively for them to offer some kind of response, as he runs his calloused hand through the fresh, humid blades of grass. Sai looks at least mildly puzzled at the statement, and Yamato appears to be slightly worried, presumably convinced that since the input of the rest of the team is needed, the copy-nin has obviously not managed to find an adequate strategy by himself, which is evidently a bad sign.

This is not, however, the reason Hatake wishes, this time, to call in a small assembly in order to discuss these matters, instead of simply deciding by himself and giving out the appropriate advice and orders, as he has so often done. This mission is different; it is crucial for the war, a matter of life and death, but also deeply significant for all of them on a personal level, and thus, they must have a say in this. He cannot, he _will _not, be the one to decide for their fates.

A few blurry, grey clouds run off to the distance above their heads, and a slightly chilly breeze blows through hair, pink, dark, silver, brown and blond alike.

"But... you have so much more experience! What can we hope to add to what you have already thought of by yourself! And you've had an additional day, too!" Sakura exclaims, her voice pregnant with a slight tone of frustration, as she breaks the somewhat awkward silence that had previously been hovering above them.

"Kakashi-sempai, with all due respect, but I'll have to second Haruno's thoughts. You know the abilities and properties of the Sharingan better than any of us do. I'm not sure I have much to offer." the Mokuton specialist tentatively agrees, his features apologetic in a measured, controlled manner, and a few seconds later, Sai, too, offers the slightest nod to convey his approval of Yamato's statement.

The oldest jounin feels his lips pursing into a thin, pained line, and he draws a long, resigned breath before glancing sideways towards the only member not to have given tongue to his opinions yet; Naruto, the quiet, pensive jinchuuriki. The blond's aspect surprises him. The boy looks strangely angered, brows furrowed and fists clenched rather tightly, and seems to be inwardly picking his words one by one, trying hard to find a way to convey his bubbling emotions.

Finally, he, too, speaks up.

"You guys... You can't do this! I think, you're just afraid of making any decisions! But seriously, you can't do this anymore. We can't just have Kakashi-sensei decide for everything again and take it all up on his shoulders; it's really not fair to him! He can't just always be responsible for everyone, you know, we're all adults now. We must take responsibility for ourselves, so he can stop feeling like it's his fault every time anything goes wrong. We'll all form a plan _together!_" the young man voiced out then, with rather astounding force, assuming his typical I'm-making-an-important-declaration position, the one with the fiery eyes, the tight fists, the bent elbows, as he stares strictly at his teammates.

The former genin teacher's eyes widen at the sheer audacity and confidence found in Naruto's voice, as he pretty much _commands_ the others to break away from their passivity.

_We can't just have Kakashi decide for everything again and take it all up on his shoulders; it's really not fair to him! _the words echo in the copy-nin's mind, and he experiences an intense flood of gratitude towards Minato's son.

_Thank you, Naruto-kun, _he utters to himself, feeling oddly touched by the kid's, or rather young man's, attempt to so passionately defend him.

* * *

When Kakashi manages to remove his glare from the young, movingly idealistic shinobi's face, he scans the rest of the team for reactions, and finds them sporting an almost amusing, were it not for the gravity of the situation, variety of facial expressions. Sai's porcelain visage seems troubled, Yamato appears to be shocked and deeply embarrassed both, while, lastly, Haruno wears a veil of shame and meditativeness, Kakashi observes, but he says nothing.

Naruto still looks moderately ticked off, and he huffs and puffs before his lips part once again.

"Alright, I'll start. So, when I was learning how to control the Kyuubi's chakra, I got to interact with some of my mum's chakra, too, which had been stored inside my seal. Amongst others things, she told me about the night I was born, and the fight between the Yondaime and Madara. Apparently, he only becomes material the very precise moment he is striking, so we have to be really, really, really fast to get him. Like, _really _fast. The only thing I can think of that is fast enough is my teleport jutsu, when I am in Nine Tails Chakra form..." he mumbles, his blue eyes lowered in thoughtfulness, and his lips twitching in displeasure as the last word trails off.

Sakura seems to be listening very carefully, and swiftly takes over from where Naruto has just left, a bit of colour and emotion finally returning to her initially grim face. The boy's previous remark about them dumping all responsibility on Kakashi's shoulders appears to have had a powerful effect on the young medic-nin, and she now seems strongly determined to part-take in the planning proccess.

"Right, but that means you must be able to access that form undisturbedly and without interruptions, and since you will not have too many chances to strike that crucial blow, the rest of us must make sure we create the right opportunity both for you to enter the Beast form, and for you to clash with Madara at the right moment. So that means that we have to be able to participate in the combat with Madara, too, and not be busy in a conflict with, for example, Zetsu or..."

_Sasuke-kun _is left unsaid, but not unheard.

"There will be a lot for us to deal with. Uchiha Sasuke's new team minus Karin, and probably a lot of hired thugs, for example. Managing to all concentrate on Madara in order to create such an opening for Naruto will prove very tricky." Tenzou Yamato adds quietly, only marginally conviced by this plan, his fingers rubbing against his chin and his shoulders betraying a great deal of stress and tension.

"That means we'll just have to dispose of them first. And try avoiding direct confrontation with Madara until that point." Sai points out rather unhelpfully and with this same unnerving lightness his voice usually holds, causing the rest of the team to stare at him with unhidden weariness. However, even an obvious point can be a fair point, Kakashi notes, as his mind frantically begins to construct various battle scenarios. And damn him, as much as he is tempestuously unwilling to admit it, their odds do not look too good.

_Father, it seems the time has come for me to lay my life down for my comrades. I shall try to make you proud of me, just as you made me proud to be your son, when I was finally able to understand the meaning of your choice and sacrifice._

His thoughts of resignation and self-renunciation are, however, chased off by Naruto's ghostly words, still ringing stubbornly inside his head.

_The way you fight so recklessly during missions, as if you don't value your own life, it's scary to me._

_No, we won't be defeated. I must protect them. I _will_ protect them. There must be a way. _The jounin snarls, drawing power from his devotion to both Konoha, and to his team.

* * *

For a few moments the shinobi do not look at one another, nor attempt to communicate verbally, each one wholly absorbed by their own thoughts and worries and existential torments, all wearing equally concentrated expressions across their weathered faces, until the pink-haired kunoichi is the one to tear the heavy fabric of the thick, broody silence.

"Madara will not just wait because we need him to. We'll have to distract him, and I think the only one who can distract him is the most experienced and versatile of us all." she mutters, her eyes sad, and she glances meaningfully towards Kakashi, with an expression so deeply guilty, and pained, and apologetic for suggesting he be the one to face the legendary Uchiha fist, that the jounin can tangibly grasp just how much she wished she could have said otherwise.

He accepts her admittedly sound argument smoothly, nevertheless, and with a small, sad smile forming behind his dark mask, he silently encourages her to carry on.

"As for... Sasuke-kun and his team, I think that it should be Naruto and Sai who go up against them. Naruto-kun is ready and able to face Sasuke, while Sai is a good match for the rest of Sasuke's team, especially since they have almost no way to deal with a flying opponent attacking from a distance. Sai can also support Naruto by striking the occasional long-range attack, so that Naruto does not become too exhausted, and thus unable to strike that last blow on Madara when the time comes. That leaves me, and Yamato-taichou." she continues, keeping her voice eerily monotonous and she carves out a, fairly well-thought out in Kakashi's opinion, plan.

"I can take care of any hired thugs or additional shinobi, so that they don't disturb the rest of you, and if I am done with that, provide medical support, or even add myself to Sai's and Naruto's formation, to further ensure Naruto-kun does not get chakra-drained. That leaves Zetsu for Yamato-taichou, which makes sense, since Yamato-taichou has faced him before, and has probably a better understanding of how plant-related attacks might work." she finishes nervously, her eyes cast down in lack of confidence, only to discover, upon raising them again, that her teammates seem very impressed with her ideas, throwing at her smiles of encouragement and approval, and causing her to blush, flattered.

Even the silver-haired man seems to be very pleasantly surprised by his former student's solid assessment of the situation, and her draft plan, that is actually almost identical to his own initial thoughts. His usually lazy visible eye holds affection, and no small amount of admiration, too.

_She was always quite bright, this girl. And now she has finally learned how to apply her intellect to combat conditions. I really have very little left to teach this bunch!_

"Woooah, Sakura-chan, you're so smart!" Naruto cries out merrily, placing both his hands behind his head in a typically _Naruto_ fashion, his face bright, and his grin wider by the moment, exuding unabashed fondness and esteem towards the kunoichi. Sai, too, nods, but his face is little more expressive than a piece of rock.

"You almost make it sounds like we stand a chance, which is an admirable feat." the brown-haired jounin grumbles with his dry, pessimistic humour, emitting a long, exaggerated sigh, but not without a degree of sincere approval towards Sakura's intelligent observations. In fact, his eyes linger on her gentle, shy, cherry-coloured smile for a rather lengthy moment, watching it quickly grow as her own eyes catch his lingering gaze.

_Really now, Yamato? Well, I can't say I blame you. _Kakashi muses teasingly, entertained, before he waves off all such frivolous thoughts, concentrating once more on the ridiculously serious matter at hand.

"Actually, Sakura, that's quite a solid draft, you offered. I think we should use it as a base plan for now, and work on it, instead of trying to compose a different plan of action altogether. The only big issue I see with this distribution of roles, is that Naruto seems to be the one who must ultimately defeat not one, but _two _S-class nin, which might be too much to ask of him, despite his recent leaps in skill and power, and..." The pink-haired girl seems to be beaming now, pleased at the smooth acceptance of her impulsively muttered conclusions and thoughts, especially when coming from her former teacher, whose approval she'd always craved, overshadowed as she'd been by her male teammates. Is it Naruto's furious glare that causes the copy-nin to pause mid-phrase.

_Don't you dare. I can do it. Don't you dare imply I can't, _it says, his wildly vivid eyes, now exhibiting a tempestuous, breathtaking, blue hue, throwing daggers at the masked shinobi.

_No, you're right, Naruto-kun. Every time I have underestimated you, you have proved me wrong._

_You're right. _Kakashi thinks, and opens his mouth again.

"However, I am confident that Naruto will be able, if we support him correctly, to deal these finishing blows, and he is undoubtedly our best chance." the famous copy-nin concludes, voice surreally soft all of a sudden, his gaze never leaving Naruto's, the eye-contact soon becoming almost too much to bear.

The blond's lips part in what seems to be the effect of a secret, overwhelming emotion, and his entire face changes, mellows, his lips curving ever so slightly upwards in the most gentle, delicate way.

It is his turn to feel flooded by gratitude.

_Thank for believing in me._

* * *

The shinobi of Team Kakashi talk for a couple of hours more, the discussion gaining speed and fluidity as it goes, and the initial sense of hopelessness and discomfort fading rapidly into a state of increasing enthusiasm and euphoria. The masked jounin is simultaneously relieved and somewhat excited to discover that everything seems to ...be falling into place, so to speak, as the construction of the plan progresses. Perhaps they _are_ ready for this showdown after all, it occurs to him, and he experiences a substantial degree of amazement upon making this observation.

After reaching a satisfactory amount of clarity concerning their general plan of action, they leave words to the side, and go back to sparring, mostly focusing on attack combinations between Naruto and Sai, since the two of them will be, in the first stage of said plan, working together.

Ink missiles serving as long-range distraction attacks, while Naruto replaces himself with a shadow clone.

A daring Taijutsu offense on Naruto's part, while Sai plants and spreads his Ink Snakes.

Ink over a basic Rasengan, to disguise as an Ink Beast.

Sai's Taijutsu maneuvers covering Naruto, as he prepares a Rasen Shurinken.

And then it gets even more interesting, as Naruto goes into Sage Mode, and later, starts sprouting tails.

Two giant Ink Lions pushing an opponent back to create an opening for Naruto's Frog Kata.

Naruto's Sage Form keeping the enemies busy while Sai paints his Fuuinjutsu Seals, trapping the foes within his paintings.

Sai's hundreds of explosive tags carried by hundreds of enraged, blond, shadow clones.

The former ROOT member's body flicker technique luring enemies into chasing him, while Naruto, in Nine Tails Chakra form, teleports down upo them, a giant Tailed Beast Rasengan in hand.

Finally, an ink clone serving as bait while, from behind, an army of Naruto tear the entire landscape down with an _Oodama Rasen Tairengan_, a barrage of giant, exploding rasengans carried by a wall of shadow clones.

_Astounding._

Kakashi really can't get over how well this seems to be going, as his eyes, Mangekyou uncovered, follow the boys' swift and imaginative movements.

_Lookie here, we might yet have a meager chance of making it out alive. _

Yamato's quivering smile seems to agree, as he and Sakura assault the boys with all they've got.

"Maaaa, you're still going way too easy on them. It's not training if it's not straining." the Sharingan-wielding jounin complains some minutes later, and he tucks the little bible of porn away, walking lazily towards a sheepish, ill-at-ease Yamato, and a rather frustrated, panting kunoichi. "I guess I'll have to join in." the copy-nin adds, and, first pulling up his sleeves in an admirably intimidating manner, then cracking loudly the joints of his fingers, and finally stretching his spine like a freshly-awoken, large feline predator, he jumps into the match. The rosy beams of the setting sun reflect upon his Mangekyou in astonishingly alarming ways.

Sai, who has had problems with identifying and comprehending some of the finer human emotions, suddenly realises the meaning of "apprehension"'.

Naruto, on the other hand, seems unbefittingly delighted to be facing his teacher's full might.

_Bring it on, 'Kashi!_

* * *

The night has already taken over the uneventful sky of Konoha when the training session finally comes to a close, and despite the occasional flock of dull clouds, there seems to be no particular shortage of stars, which Naruto takes to be an excellent omen.

Of course, easily as he gets excited, especially after having had such an interesting and fruitful day of training, he would probably feel likewise about _any _kind of sky or weather; his optimism and belief have been irreversibly restored.

"Well, that did not go too badly, ne, sensei?" he asks Hatake, a playful, proud smirk playing on his whiskered face, and even though the older man knows this to be a blatant attempt to fish for compliments, he is in too good a mood to not oblige.

"Yes, yes, Naruto, you have grown tremendously strong. One day I will be cool by association only for having been your genin instructor. And your handsome face will be carved _twice _on the Hokage monument, just to make the point clear, in case anyone has any doubts left." Kakashi mumbles, his own mouth twisting into a smile of mild amusement behind the cover of his beloved mask, and he scratches the back of his spiky hair, in a comical exaggeration of discomfort. Sai, who is walking not far behind them, does, as usual, need a few minutes in order to digest and deduce the existence of sarcasm, and eventually wear his cunning, "knowing" expression.

"Do you really think I'm handsome?" the young blond suddenly asks, pausing mid-step, with his eyes narrowed upwards in moderate embarrassment. Even though the copy-nin is well-aware that Naruto is joking, his available eye subconsciously, disobediently traces over the boy's rather beautiful features, and he has to catch himself in order to avoid spilling a helplessly sincere _yes. _Thus, for the tiniest moment, he finds himself at a loss for words.

"You are the fourth most attractive man in the team." he states after this minuscule, invisible loss of composure, causing immediate outrage in his conversational partner, whose face flushes up in less than an instant.

"How dare you, you old, perverted sensei! I'll have you know that I am very handsome! My mother said so when I was inside my seal! She did!"

Sakura, walking somewhere behind, lightly giggles, watching over the two men lovingly.

* * *

And once again, the team finally reaches that familiar crossroad where, when everyone is walking home, it is only Kakashi and Naruto who take a left turn, walking on together underneath the partially starry cover of the night. The silver-haired man is walking perhaps two inches ahead, mutely, his sarcastic, roguish demeanour suddenly evaporated, and replaced by this familiar unreadable face, this concrete wall meant to hide him from the rest of the world.

Naruto doesn't quite understand why there seems to be such... tension, when the two of them are left alone, and why his former teacher's conduct changes so, a substantial shift, becoming so much more cautious and reserved. It wasn't like that when the Uzumaki was younger, he observes inwardly, remembering the light, humourous, slightly gibelike manner in which the older man used to treat him, and he starts wondering.

_Maybe it's because I look so much like my father now. My father was his teacher, and I guess it must feel strange for him to turn around and find his teacher's face there._

_Or maybe it's because he feels guilty about all the stuff I have to do, and all the responsibility everyone is loading on me, and all the expectations, and does not know what to say._

_Maybe he's just changed._

And then, like a divine revelation, it occurs to the younger man that he is seeing this the wrong way.

That elfish, laid-back behaviour, _that_ is the true distance, the true mask. Kakashi wasn't being more comfortable with him back then, he was merely being more disguised, more, rather than less, guarded. It is now, in his vulnerable, human, tangible, distant, silent form, that he is being real, and showing himself for who he is; a man cautious, damaged, of few words.

The revelation is rather groundbreaking to Naruto, so he simply halts, frozen in the middle of the street, his eyes still following the jounin's lean physique as he carries on, hands in pockets, head leaning forth.

_He's not acting strange because he is no longer comfortable with me._

_He's acting like this _exactly because_ he is comfortable. _

And so Naruto is swept over by an intense, savage feeling of protectiveness towards the older man, and he feels humbled by the fact that, out of all the people in Kakashi's team, in _their _team, it's with him that he takes his, honed by years of loss and loneliness, armour off, and that he stops performing his clown act. Of course, it's ridiculous, absolute hogwash, to feel protective over someone like the copy-nin, someone so incredibly powerful and hardened, someone at least ten years older than him, stronger than him, but still, the jinchuuriki is an idiot, and an angsty, emotional idiot at that, and sometimes, he just cannot help himself.

Thus, when Kakashi turns around, curious as to why the familiar footsteps have stopped following him, he finds, some ten feet behind him, the young man wearing a truly peculiar expression, with blue eyes wide and perhaps slightly humid (_or it is just the moon, reflected into them_?), with a lower lip lightly bitten and maybe a bit shaky, and with legs stuck to the ground.

Behind the droopy and old forehead protector, a pair of eyebrows shoot upwards some, completely dumbfounded by Naruto's unexpected and inscrutable reaction to... to what really? Did something happen? Kakashi isn't even sure of that.

"Eh? Naruto. You alright?" he inquires, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand, feeling suddenly strangely, dangerously nervous and uneasy under the scrutiny of these serious, soulful eyes. He looks into them, and they seem to be brimming with _something_, some new knowledge, some awe-inspiring deduction, some whelming feeling, or maybe something else entirely, for Naruto, even as he is an open book, is not always easy to read and decipher.

"That persona thing you do, why do you turn it off for me?" the young man formulates a question instead of a reply, and despite the slightly sloppy phrasing and vocabulary choices, the jounin immediately knows what Naruto is talking about, and is taken aback. Indeed, Kakashi is really not certain what he should say to this; he'd never thought to be asked so bluntly.

"I..." he starts, but then the thread is cut short, even as the thin, dry lips remain stubbornly parted, waiting for the right words to come along.

_What kind of question is that, anyway...?_

The two men stare at one another, and the jounin gets this inexplicable, eerie feeling that he is a child all over again, awkwardly as he stands, hands in pockets, slouching a bit, with unidentified words stuck in his throat. The breeze is back again, messing up his gray hair and blowing against his shinobi jacket, while the ribbons of Naruto's forehead protector seems to be floating in the wind, adding an inappropriately dramatic effect.

_Well, this is awkward._

Kakashi cringes.

"I guess, if I die, and then there's no one left who even knew who I was in the first place, that would be kind of sad, ne?" he mutters, putting on his inappropriately light-hearted, cheery closed-eye face and dropping a bead of sweat, knowing it is a fairly weak reply (but as furiously as he seeks to offer something better, something more convincing, he simply doesn't know what to say). Nonetheless, the younger man does not seem to mind the evident gracelessness of Kakashi's excuse, and, in fact, he appears to be seriously considering the older man's words, as if searching for some deeper meaning between the lines.

"Well, I don't really, really, _really_ know you yet, 'Kashi-sensei; you're always so mysterious and all. And now we only have one day point something... You should probably hurry." Naruto ultimately states, a slight tone of concern, or perhaps desperation, seeping into his voice, and he sounds truly disturbed by what he's just uttered, if not downright panicked. Yes; the silly kid seems to have taken Kakashi's words to heart.

* * *

Kakashi blinks.

And then he blinks again.

And, despite the evident ridiculousness of the conversation, and the childishness of this whole interaction, somehow, in some mystical, absolutely _Naruto _way, the young man's worry resonates with him.

_What if it's true?_

_No one will grieve you like you grieve Obito. Like Sakura already grieves for Sasuke._

_They will grieve the copy-nin, the sensei, the eternal rival, the former ANBU, but will anyone grieve Kakashi, the... the... just the guy?_

Naruto has a very special way of accidentally awakening Kakashi's existential insecurities, and the jounin curses strongly under his breath for being suddenly flooded by such disgusting, irksome, insecure thoughts. For hell's sake, in some 35 hours they will be running off to fight against Uchiha _Madara, _master of time and space, and this is really not the right time for him to be having some kind of philosophically inclined break-down.

So the silver-haired shinobi opens his mouth to verbalise something, if only to put an end to these disturbing thoughts parading incessantly inside his increasingly deranged mind, and, to his mildly detached awe, something downright strange comes out.

"You could come over. I have instant noodles."

"Ok" says Naruto, and they keep walking.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Sasuke. And even if I did, I'd be giving him out for free. Seriously.

A/N: Yes, I know it was cliffhanger, so here I am, with the next part. Also, I am straying even further from current manga canon, since new stuff always comes up, and I can't keep up with it. So this story is **quite irreversibly AU **at this point. **I began writing before we even knew that Madara's corpse existed somewhere out there,, that there was a Zetsu army, or that Kabuto had actually managed to become a decent villain**. The third Shippuuden movie, however, has obviously been taken into account, because it clearly ships KakaNaru.

Thanks once again to all those who review! You can't imagine how important it is to us writers! We check our stats every ten minutes or so, ceaselessly fuelled by the hope of a review. Are your eyes teary yet?

This chapter is only Kakashi-Naruto interaction. The quiet before the storm/battle. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

* * *

Chapter 7

"Ok" replies the young blond, casually, and, with a small smile on his whiskered face, he starts walking again beside the older man. It is only after they've walked for a minute more, in a silence that is neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, that the jounin truly realises they are now both heading towards his house, a house into which he'd never invited anyone before, and with good reason. _It is simply not a place meant to accommodate the presence of more than one individual_, he thinks to himself, worriedly.

But Naruto Uzumaki has a bright, subtly cheerful expression adorning his face -a face that so recently was still quite round and childish, but is now increasingly well-defined, masculine, angular- and it is the kind of expression the older shinobi does not know how to say no to.

_This was a mistake; a shabby, awkward attempt to change the subject... _the silver-haired man curses soundlessly under his breath, berating himself for having spoken without thinking, for having let words escape his chapped lips before they'd been properly dipped into his conscious mind.

_Damn._

Kakashi feels a small prick of panic in his chest as the situation really sinks in; his dwelling consists of only a small, bare room, including no more than a bed, a desk, a chair and a minuscule kitchen, with a tiny bathroom stuck next to it. A humble, pocket-sized abode, a "bachelor pad", within which two adults could barely stand without being too close for comfort.

Where would they even sit?

But now they are pacing towards the east side of the village, steps placed before one another with regular, rhythmic motions, and there is no changing direction, no withdrawing the offer; a sense of inevitable doom washes over the older man, who suddenly wants nothing but to leap onto a nearby rooftop and disappear.

"I've never been inside your house, you know, sensei... It's kind of weird if you think about it. I mean, I've been to the Nara family, and the Akimichi, and even those scowling Hyuuga... But never your house. Do you have, like, a huge stash of porn that you are ashamed of, or something?" Naruto suddenly asks, his tone ever insouciant and light-hearted, and he brings his hand to the back of his messy blond hair with curiosity, beaming a blithesome smile towards his former instructor.

Kakashi's visible eye narrows in mock anxiety and embarrassment, causing the younger man to immediately acquire an expression of knowing triumph.

"I knew it! You are such a pervert!" Naruto accuses victoriously, pointing a finger theatrically towards the slightly taller man, who produces a sheepish grin under his mask, in response. Then, suddenly, said grin fades, and the jounin's face returns to its former unreadable, dispassionate nature, with lines smooth and undecipherable as his eye flies upwards, into the veil of the night.

"Actually, I'm kidding. I don't have a porn stash at all, other than Jiraiya's work." he states in a factual, monotone voice, causing the jinchuuriki to momentarily frown, pulling a face of mild confusion.

"Hnnnn. Then how come you never invite anyone over?" Naruto responds after a few seconds of thought. His tone is somewhat serious once again, his unbelievably blue, pensive gaze flicking sideways every now and then, towards the older man's figure.

_Why would I even _want_ to invite anyone? There's nothing to see in there; only emptiness, practical and cold. It's a plain, grey space, that house is, filled with invisible ghosts and murky memories. _

_It's the cell of my mind, where I can trace my old scars and past mistakes away from prying eyes, and where I can mourn without being weak, where I can dream without being soft-headed and unfunctional._

"It's too small." Kakashi replies tersely and matter-of-factly, his jaw suddenly clenched with tension.

"Hnnnnnnn." mouths the Uzumaki, emitting a suspicious, unconvinced sound while also squinting his eyes with evident incredulity, for he has become, through war and danger, too observant to miss the slight straining of the older man's facial muscles, even as they lie safe behind a layer of cloth. "So why don't you get a bigger one? I mean, you've been a jounin for, like... ages. You must surely have enough money, no?" the young man adds, and this time his voice is not simply laced with doubt, but also with concern, and his features twist the tiniest little bit, betraying a flicker of worry.

He scratches the whiskers of his left cheek, while waiting for a response.

_That stupid pervert probably doesn't look after himself at all. He probably wastes all his money on dog food or something, and he's probably to lazy to even care. _Uzumaki muses inwardly, and the thought displeases him a lot.

Kakashi finds himself strangely moved by the fact the kid is actually troubled over his possibly low quality of life, but he pushes that reaction back. Instead, he exhibits little more than amusement, as his lips curve upwards behind the thin fabric of his dark mask.

"Of course I have money. It's in a bank." he replies, smoothly and pleasantly, retreating once again behind his usual laid-back, humorous demeanour, and patting the younger man's shoulder in a friendly fashion. And usually, that kind of short, uninformative but accurate answer, spoken in this creepy, upbeat but also simultaneously lazy way, is enough to discourage anyone but Maito Gai.

_When_ _Kakashi does not want to converse, conversations don't happen._

Naruto, nonetheless, is a case all of his own, and he is generally not known for his tendency to give up. A glimmer of passionate, intense resolve and obstinacy locking inside his gaze, he lets out a sharp, mildly irritated breath, and he open his mouth again, with every intention to insist.

"Hnnnnn. In a bank? What for? I mean, alright, I get that when you deposit your money there, then it gradually turns into even more money, but in your case, what do you even need to do this for? It's not like you have a kid to leave it to, or something..." he asks, his eyes even more wary now, and even though he is still far from yelling, the question is considerably louder than their previous verbal exchange. His blond eyebrows are beginning to move towards one another, intending to form a scowl, and Kakashi knows that to be an omen of peril.

Somewhere deeper, the question and the comment hurt a little, too, and the silver-haired jounin experiences a pinch of vexation. It is this very vexation that causes him to admit something he would have otherwise be loath to admit. It escapes his slightly parted lips before he can help himself, almost out of vengefulness, almost out of a strange desire to see a flash of guilt on the younger man's visage.

"It's for the team." he thus says, a little darkly, and in a somewhat mumbled voice. Then, he repeats it, clearly, almost aggressively. "The money is for the four of you. If something happens, it will be split equally between you. Because I've been given responsibility for you, and as the leader of this team, as the eldest and as a comrade, I have to make sure you are, all of you, alright even if I die. Do you understand?"

Naruto's mouth clicks close, and the silence is deafening, as a wild bouquet of thoughts swarm and swim around the blond's mind.

_Kakashi..._

* * *

The two men, two thin but strongly built figures of almost equal height, walk on, wordlessly, until an appartment block is reached.

In this weird silence, the sound of keys being taken out is almost too loud to bear.

"Oh, joy, we're here..." Kakashi begins while he clumsily tries to unlock the door, his face softening into this mask of slothful, non-chalant pleasantness as he attempts to break the silence and bring the conversation back to shallower, less dangerous waters. However, he is immediately interrupted by Naruto, with the younger man speaking almost at the exact same moment as he.

"You are **not** going to die in this mission." the jinchuuriki states with fervent, torrid finality, and his azure glare is ablaze as he pins it with painful intensity onto the jounin. It makes Kakashi feel almost physically stabbed.

Kakashi does not want to talk about this anymore. And yet, he somehow welcomes this reaction on Naruto's part, for it gives him opportunity to put a halt to the action of unlocking that stupid door; it gives him a few seconds more until he must inevitably push the door open and plunge into a world of narrow space and awkwardness.

He slowly leans back against the wall of the corridor outside his pad's door, his face weary and his expression old, unfathomable.

"Naruto... Shinobi die." he mutters gently, and even though his gaze lacks the fiery intensity of Naruto's eyes, it has a power of its own. The soft, cool, silent power of undeniable factuality, of inescapable truth, of experience. And so, even though the tone of the jounin's voice is neither sharp nor cutting, the younger shinobi looks as if he has just taken a blow, his lip quivering with the shadow of an inward flinch.

For a fraction of a second, the blond shuts his eyes.

_Yes, we're shinobi, and shinobi die. This is their purpose; their destiny. Like my father and my mother, who died to keep this village safe from the beast I host inside my body. _

_Like Jiraiya-sensei, who lost his life fighting against someone who had once been his student. Like Asuma, who left behind a child that will never get to meet him. Like the Sandaime, who fought until the very end to protect everyone, even though he was so old. Like Haku, readily giving his life for his mentor and companion. Like... _the examples flood Naruto's chest with pain, ripping open the half-healed scars of loss, and filling him with a fleeting feeling of helplessness and surrender. But the jinchuuriki bites his lower lip, and does not give into the ugliness of reality. And so he lifts his eyes again, glistening with resolve.

"You're my team, and as long as I'm around, no one is going to die. If, even with the power of a tailed beast, I can't protect my own team, then I'm a fuckin' shitty shinobi, aren't I?" the Uzumaki spits out, taking a step forward, towards the older man, his chakra flaring around him as a response to the vividness of his emotions.

_If I can't protect my own team, then I'm a fuckin' shitty shinobi, aren't I?_

Kakashi winces at the words.

_Look after your comrades, had been the silent message of his father's death. And yet, he'd been powerless, useless, pathetic before the Kyuubi, and Minato's gentle smile was forever gone._

_You're a jounin, now, so look after them, Minato-sensei had once told him. And yet, a mere day later, Obito lay crushed under a boulder, his blood spreading onto the soil beneath their feet._

_Take care of Rin, Obito had commanded. And yet, a few years later, a sharp kunai had ripped her throat open, and as fast as he had ran, her body had been cold when he'd gotten there._

_Yes, I guess that I'm as shitty as they come._

_I have no idea why this damned bitch of a fate has chosen _me _to outlive them, _me _to stay behind, _me _to stand, uselessly, before a monument while their bodies rot._

_As shitty as they come._

The darkness of gut-wrenching guilt and despair lasts for less than a fugitive fraction of a second on the jounin's well-trained face, but Naruto **sees** it -he truly sees it, for the first time-, and he is shaken by what he now knows to lie underneath the other man's intangible mask.

"I didn't mean to imply you..." he hurriedly utters, but before all the words can even come out of his mouth, the moment is gone, and the former instructor's features are so relaxed and nonchalant, that the blond is tempted to wonder if he'd _imagined_ this momentary look of sickeningly profound self-loathing. Perhaps it'd just been a trick of the light.

"Come on in." the older man states amicably, the signature eye-smile decorating his mostly concealed face as he pushes the door open.

The blond steps in.

* * *

"It really **_is_** small." is the first thing he says, and even though it sounds like a very casual, dry observation, there is a tinge of sadness resonating within Naruto's voice, as his eyes fall upon the naked, grey room. "Where should I sit?"

"There's a chair." the older man replies, his face still frozen onto a smile that Naruto suspects to be mostly artificial.

_Don't the muscles on your face get sore, doing that eye-smile thing all day? _the young adult wonders idly as he takes the few steps separating him from said chair.

"Where will _you _sit?" he then asks, glancing over at the jounin, who is now skimming through the articles inside his tiny kitchen's drawers, probably in search of the food he'd offered to make.

"I'll make the food, and then slouch against a wall. I love slouching against walls." Kakashi mumbles in response, without even lifting his eyes from the drawers until he eventually finds the instant noodles, and retrieves them triumphantly, with a graceful movement of pride. The blond's lips curve ever so slightly upwards, into a bittersweet smile of affection, as he watches the jounin open the packaging, and then filling a pot with water.

_Yeah, I know you love slouching. Everyone knows you love slouching, _Naruto thinks to himself, humorously, and even though a part of his mind is still disturbed and occupied by that fleeting flash of _something_ he'd seen just before, he is glad the strange, painful tension between them has now receded a little.

"You probably have such a small house because you are too lazy to clean." the Uzumaki remarks, teasingly, and when the jounin turns around to shoot a thundering, supposedly vexed stare, he finds the kid's face brightened by a playful, beaming smile.

"Says the guy in whose house you can find milk from last year." Kakashi bites back, wearing a bored look of conceited irony, as he judgementally points a spoon towards his guest.

"Hey! I'm not like that anymore! I keep everything neat! It's true!" Naruto complains defensively, with a mock pout that is silly, and childish, and immature, but still makes the silver-haired shinobi feel a wave of warmth speading mercilessly inside his chest. He merely throws a distrusting "Hmphh..." back at the younger man, before he turns around to pour the instant noodles into the now boiling water.

"No, really! I'm a responsible adult now. I actually stitch my own socks, you know." the jinchuuriki insists, and his mouth is forming a wide, sunny smile that lights the small, miserable house up, forcing Kakashi to realise that, despite everything, he does not regret having invited his former student here. He does not say anything, though, because he is somehow afraid that if he opens his lips right now, he will regret what might slip through them_._

The blond, feigning annoyance at the jounin's lack of response, gets up from the chair, and takes a few steps towards the lonely window of Kakashi's minuscule, modest abode. His blue eyes widen a bit, gleaming with feeling, as they fall onto a potted plant.

"You still have my Mr. Ukki...?" he asks, in a hesitant, delicate voice as he lifts his index finger to caress a glossy leaf.

Kakashi feels his chest constrict a little.

_Of course I do, you moron. It was a gift, from you. I always treasure gifts... _A rough, calloused hand is subconsciously raised towards the concealed Sharingan (_the ultimate gift, the best and also the worst one I've ever received_), but it soon falls back down again, lifeless.

"Once you are Hokage, it will be worth a lot, and I shall sell it." the jounin jokingly responds, and he scratches his chin pensively, as if reflecting on the possible profit he will be able to make in the not so distant future.

"Believe it! You will organise a public auction, and then Hiashi will end up offering an insane amount of money, just to prove his clan's prestige! And then, you'll buy a bigger house." Naruto answers with a thumb up. Despite the fact that neither jokes are actually that funny, both men laugh a little, one loudly, and the other behind his mask.

* * *

"Yo. Food's ready." Kakashi eventually declares -without much passion-, holding a large bowl of steaming ramen; but the younger man, oddly enough, especially if one takes into account his unnatural love for that particular dish, does not react, his back still turned to the jounin. The copy-nin is surprised for a second, but from the angle of the boy's back and his particular position, he swiftly deduces that Naruto is actually staring at the four photographs framed and sitting besides the small bed.

Team 7, Team Minato, the Hatake family, and the new Team Kakashi.

The young blond does not say anything about them, not even about the picture of his own father, not even about Sasuke, the eternal rival. He merely stands there, absolutely, completely and ear-splittingly silent, observing the four photos with frightening intensity, while Kakashi places the heavy bowl of ramen upon the old, weathered desk.

"Do you look like your father?" the blond finally inquires, in a tone unsure and cottony, as he walks back to the front of the room, and sits quietly onto the lone chair.

Kakashi stares at him, at a temporary loss for words, and then he sighs loudly, slumping back against the wall. He shouldn't be surprised that his former student is still curious about what lies beneath the dark cloth; even though he and Sakura had stopped asking or trying to peak a very long time ago, even actively defending their teacher's privacy against the prying of third parties, it was only logical that, deep inside, they would still be curious.

If he could explain -if there was _any _way to put it into words- then Kakashi would have not minded explaining to the blond why he was concealing his visage thus. But in truth, he simply does not know what to say about the issue, or how to make anyone understand.

"Yes." he says, and it's true. He does bear a striking resemblance to his father, even though it is not as impressive as he'd been afraid it would be, when he'd been younger; he never did acquire the rugged, rough squareness of Sakumo's traits, as he'd once thought he would.

Naruto nods his understanding, a grave look on his face. He brings the bowl of food closer to himself, but his eyes are still glued onto the jounin. His lips part a little, and a breath is drawn, but the words do not come out, and the breath lingers there. He wants to ask something, but he is hesitating, and Kakashi can tell.

"Is that why you wear it?" he eventually does decide to ask, and almost immediately he cringes a bit, as if he's expecting the older man to chastise him for the rude, inconsiderate query. But the negative reaction, much to the jinchuuriki's surprise, never comes, and Kakashi closes his visible eye instead, an expression of tiredness flooding his face.

"Yes. No. Well, not anymore." he mutters, in a defeated, empty voice, and Naruto is not surprised at the strange, indecisive nature of his response, as much as he is surprised by the fact that the jounin is responding _at all._

Suddenly, Naruto realises that he has stepped into new, uncharted territory.

That he has, somehow, unexpectedly, been allowed to walk into a whole new area of Kakashi's comfort zone: a zone of twilight and a zone of phantoms, where one must tread softly, and carefully.

"Then, why still..?" he questions, the words hushed and timid and uncertain, and for some reason he is not sure he can rationally identify, his pulse is a tiddly bit faster than it was just ten minutes ago, as if he is about to rip the paper off a present, or to be graded for an exam. And no, it is no longer a matter of base curiosity, of wanting to see that face; it is the opportunity to peak into the man's soul, and into the way his mind works, that suddenly causes Naruto's throat to constrict with apprehension.

"I... I guess that's just who I am." the older man articulates concisely, but they both know it's a weak answer, and that it will not do.

"No. It's just who you want people to see. That's two different things." Naruto rebuts, his voice now a little more confident, and the presence of a delicious, steaming bowl of fresh ramen almost completely forgotten.

_Yes, of course.. It is, indeed, two different things. But see, the point is that, it's easy for me to show you who I want people to see. It's something I know, something I can define: I want them to see the laid-back, calm, good-natured but slightly anti-social man, with many dogs, and a love for porn._

_To show you what I am... It's not that I don't want to, Naruto. It's that I'm not even sure I can do that at all._

_I'm not even sure I _am_ anyone at all._

_After all these years of wearing this mask, all these years of keeping other people's memories alive within myself, I cannot even distinguish which traits are mine, truly mine, which traits are Obito's, which are my father's, and which traits are merely an act..._

_How could I even explain this to you?_

_That the reason I can't take this mask off, is because I'm not sure there's anyone at all, there, behind everything? That if you peel off the fabric, the mannerisms, the memories, the ghosts, the tributes, the antics, the acts, even I do not know what you shall find?_

"Naruto... since when are you intelligent?" Kakashi questions in a teasing fashion, as a reaction to the younger man's sharply insightful and serious remark, but mostly to taunt and badger the boy, and lead him, once again, away from the thorny, difficult subjects he seems so intent on delving into. The jinchuuriki, though, does not bite the bait, and does not point his finger, and whine, and complain, as he would have a few years ago, reminding the copy-nin, once again, that he no longer dealing with a kid.

"Since my teacher taught me to look underneath the underneath." he counters the older man's evasive answer, and then he gulps down a bit of ramen soup, his frustratingly blue eyes never leaving Kakashi's tall and slouchy frame.

"If I had an answer, I'd give it to you." the jounin finally mutters, and, despite the eerie tension of the moment, his face still looks lax, emotionless, and blank.

Naruto frowns.

* * *

He eats in silence for a while, and even though the dish really _is_ quite delicious, the rich tastes and textures barely register. The genin's mind is simply too occupied by the unsolvable mystery that is his former instructor.

The frustration and the gravity written all over the blond's features are so difficult to ignore, that the jounin ends up feeling strangely guilty for not being able to provide the answers Naruto wants.

"Do you really want to see my face so badly?" Kakashi finally asks, after a long moment of heavy, uneasy silence, the question barely audible.

Naruto's head snaps up, and he looks highly surprised, his spoon clumsily falling back onto the desk with a clear cling.

"It's not that. I... I don't care much about what's physically under there, not any more. Yeah, ok, I used to be dying to peak under your mask when I was, like, 12. Sakura and I constructed plan after plan just to get a look, you know. But now that seems so... I don't know. It just doesn't matter any more. What I want... I just want to understand why you wear it, you know. If I had to choose between just seeing your face, and you explaining this to me, I'd rather you just explain." Naruto clarifies, clumsily and with his usual, rather shabby, grammar and vocabulary. Despite the artless speech, the words really resonate with the older man.

Behind a forehead protector and a few strands of silver hair, two eyebrows fly up in amazement, and the jounin finally realises that Naruto is probably the most exceptional, astonishing man he has ever met.

_You would rather just know how I feel, than take a look at my face?_

_I don't think anyone else has ever said so before, you know._

"You are really one of a kind, Naruto-kun..." Kakashi remarks, in an oddly tight voice. "I'll try to explain it for you, then. I'll give you the whole story." he adds, and his body falls back against the wall, his eye glancing up at the ceiling, half-closing.

* * *

"I don't know how much of that you already know, but my father was... a very well-known shinobi. When I was very young, though, he found himself in a very difficult situation, where he either had to abandon a mission, or leave his comrades to die. Then, when he decided to follow the first route, he was severely punished for his choice, and looked upon with disdain and contempt."

"Deeming he'd brought dishonour to our name, and unable to bare people's scorn, he eventually took his own life. It was then that I decided I would never repeat his mistake; that I would obey the shinobi rules whatever may come, and that I would clean myself from being associated with him. And this was how I first put on a mask."

"My first impression of my genin cell was that I hated them all. The other boy, Uchiha Obito, was a loud idiot, the girl was a mumbling weakling, and the teacher was a soft-hearted idealist."

"Only, my first impressions were, as they sometimes are, ridiculously wrong. Obito was actually more of loyal, honourable shinobi that I had ever been, Rin had a capacity for caring that I could never hope to achieve, and sensei... Your father was, in every way, and exceptional man; understanding and lenient, but also firm, inventive and incredibly talented.

"It was a shame that I was too busy looking down on them, or else I might have realised how much I cared for them before it was too late."

"It was Obito who died first, on the very day I'd been promoted to the jounin rank. Rin had been captured on that day, but I'd decided to carry on with the mission, instead of rescuing her right away. I was so afraid of repeating my father's mistakes... I... Obito went after her, of course; he'd always loved her very dearly. When we parted ways, he told me something._ Those who break the rules are scum... But those who do not care about their friends, they are worse than scum."_

Kakashi's face has grown somewhat paler than before, and even though he's been speaking in his unsettlingly matter-of-factly, monotone voice, the blond can sense the pain in his tone, and how strongly he's been suppressing it. It makes Naruto's chest almost hurt.

"So he was the one who said that first..." Naruto mumbles quietly (almost to himself, as he does not want to interrupt the older man at all), remembering the time, so many years ago, when the copy-nin had taught them, Team 7, that very same lesson. The question, of course, is rhetorical, and it is never answered.

"I did chase after them both, eventually, and we did get to Rin, even if I lost an eye in battle, in the process. But by then the enemy had gathered a strong force in that area, and escaping was almost impossible... It was Obito who saved us_."_

Kakashi pauses, and the blond is holding his breath.

"The rock crushed the right side of his body almost fully, and there was nothing Rin or I could do."

Another pause, and a long breath.

"You know, he... he hadn't given me a gift, for my jounin promotion, unlike Minato-sensei and Rin. And somehow, he thought... He... He told Rin to... give me his left eye. So that... So that he may get to see the future with me. A gift for a friend, for my promotion. I never got to tell him how much I... I... respected him."

A small crack in Kakashi's voice, and then yet another pause, a larger one.

Naruto knows that "respect" was not the word Kakashi had been meaning to say, and he feels his eyes tingle with sadness and humidity.

"After that, I finally understood what both Obito and my father had been trying to teach me, and I was no longer ashamed of my resemblance to my father. I was, however, ashamed of my own actions. I did not want to see my face ever again. It was Minato, Hokage-sama at that time, who died next. I cursed myself even more strongly, then, for even as I'd been one of the village's most celebrated jounin, I was unable to do anything to save him."

"Without Minato, there was really no one left who knew me, who I'd listen to. Rin wanted to try, but I... I never managed to give her what she wanted from me. I did, however, come to bitterly regret how little I had looked after her, when she died in battle."

"It had been his only demand, you know. Obito's, before he was gone. That I look after her. But, as always, I failed them."

"I was fifteen then, going to sixteen, and had recently been made an ANBU. Wearing a mask was a given in the Black Ops, so I no longer had to concern myself with the reasons behind my concealment. The years flew by quite fast. ANBU keeps you... very busy."

A bittersweet, pained smile, and another pause.

"Not even the occasional casual lover cared to insist about the mask, after my initial, firm refusal to remove it. It was a period of just doing what I was told. That's how the ANBU is; no habits, personal belongings, hobbies, or preferences. That is, perhaps, why the henohenomoheji**[1]** had appealed to me so much."

"It was Hiruzen who suggested I resign from the ANBU, or at least stop taking up one S-class after the other. He suggested, perhaps, that I should take a genin team before I kill myself from exhaustion. I refused both offers, and stayed in ANBU for a couple of years more until his insistence forced me to resign."

"When I quit the Black Ops... It was... a strange period. I thought about taking the mask off, you know, and reinventing myself, and be someone with all the traits I had admired in others."

A very slight chuckle.

"I never managed to take it off, you know. It had stayed there so long, that even looking at myself in the mirror without it felt ...off. I also never managed to become a man half as good what I had wanted for myself, even though I did try my best to honour the values these people had passed onto me, to look after. Jiraiya helped me a lot, back then. I took a few weeks off once, and we travelled together for a while. He taught me that you can lose everything, and still survive. Now, I guess that you, Naruto, and these books, are all the legacy he has left behind, ne?"

A pained smile appears again, but the tone is still light, conversational.

"Hiruzen was still insisting on my becoming an instructor, but I missed the strict simplicity of the ANBU, instead. I would have never taken a team, I think, if not for the three of you."

"It was like a revelation. You were Minato's son, and yet I saw in you all of Obito's fierceness and idealism. Sasuke was... _so much_ like I'd been at his age, before life taught me a few lessons. He had turned, like me, his grief into arrogance, aggression, and detachment. I thought... I thought I could help him. And Sakura, yes, she did not have Rin's tender softness, but she had all her open-heartedness, all her love, and her desire to not be left behind, to do her part, to help."

"I thought about removing my mask for our first meeting as a team. But I didn't. I still don't know why."

"Of course, I failed badly as a teacher. I could not prevent Sasuke from deflecting, I could not offer you the care you needed, and I could not help Sakura not be left behind. I offered you nothing at all. And now... Well, there is simply no reason to take off any longer."

There's a pause, and a moment of pensive frowning, but still no strong feeling betrayed by the monotone, flat voice.

"Besides I... I don't think there's anything to see. Anything at all. It's all very bare, and slightly worn. Like the room."

"So that's my explanation for you, Naruto." Kakashi finishes, and finally, he tears his eyes off the ceiling, and turns his glance towards the younger man, who is still seated behind the small, worn desk, immobile and soundless. The jinchuuriki's blue eyes meet his gaze, and the jounin finds himself almost unsettled by the violent emotional tumult he discovers in them.

Then, abruptly, the blond shoots up from his chair, and walks with swift, heavy steps towards the copy-nin, his intentions unreadable, and his whiskered face taut. There's something very assertive about his expression, and the copy-nin subconsciously aligns his previously sagging back fully onto the wall, his posture a little defensive.

* * *

Even though it's the second time he does that, Kakashi still feels his eyes widen when the Uzumaki grabs him with considerable force, and pulls him into a bruising embrace.

The fact it's the second time does not make the sensation of another man's chest crashing against his any less unexpected, or any less startling. And it does not make the incredible, almost unnatural warmth of Naruto's body any less alarmingly pleasant. It does not make the younger man's affection for him any less moving and heart-warming, and it does not make the entire situation any less embarrassing and uneasy.

_Naruto... You're making this into a habit, aren't you? _he thinks to himself, sighing inwardly.

"Thank you for telling me." Naruto declares, and it could have almost been funny, the drop-dead serious tone of his voice and the gravity of the embrace. Instead, it's oddly disconcerting, and the jounin does not really know how to react to his former student's overly sentimental antics_. __Gee, you really have a flair for drama..._

"I... you insisted." he just answers, curtly, but somewhat lamely. He still hasn't lifted his arms up to embrace the young man back, even though he thinks he might want to.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for that. I just..." Naruto mutters, shamefaced and a little more docile now.

"It's ok." Kakashi interrupts him, beaming an eye-smile, and finally, he manages to bring his hands up to the blond's back, and reciprocate, instead of merely standing there, stiffly and awkwardly, a helpless victim of the younger man's overly expressive nature.

"The ramen was awesome, by the way!" the jinchuuriki exclaims with sudden enthusiasm, and he retreats once again, breaking the tense embrace; he is now so oddly cheery that all of his face seems to be a smile.

"It was just instant noodles, Naruto." the copy-nin points out helpfully, scratching the back of his head. "But thank you."

Naruto stares at the older man some more, still smiling widely, and, truly, he feels awash with gratitude; not because of the freakin' ramen, or the invitation itself, but because he is somehow, in an irrational way, absolutely certain that the things Kakashi has told him are not things he would have told just anyone, and that he had, in his way, just acknowledged Naruto as a real friend, as more than just a teamate, or a student, or a comrade. However, behind his smile, he is still feeling a strong, stinging sadness, the after-effect of Kakashi's rather tragic tale.

Despite the dry, factual fashion in which the copy-nin had tried to summarise his life and psyche, and the almost blank face he had kept up during his little tale, the younger man had actually wanted to cry during some of the more doleful passages.

Even now, his eyes still sting a little.

_Kakashi-sensei... You're really the best, and you don't even know it._

_Immediately ready to sacrifice yourself for Konoha when Hiruko was stealing all the bloodlines, and always there to jump in front of me or Sakura to take the hit instead, always there to pick us up when we fall down..._

_Ready to give your life even for someone like Chouji, who wasn't even your student, or your friend. You really don't give your self enough credit, damnit it!_

* * *

"Can I make myself some tea...?" the blond suddenly asks, and his features looks oddly mismatched; his smile is still cordial and broad, but his eyes are strangely melancholic, and watery.

"Tea? Now? Naruto, it's 4 am..." the older man notes, lifting an eyebrow curiously as he leans his body back against the wall, from where he'd been pulled during that sudden embrace. Naruto's eyes widen comically at the digit, and when he realises he's pretty much spent the night at the jounin's place, even though he'd not been invited to do so, he blushes furiously, and his eyes seem to now find the floor very interesting.

"Oh damn! Ah... Shit. I didn't mean to not let you sleep and stuff, and..." he mumbles, and it is painfully obvious that he is feeling rather flustered and undignified, biting, as he is, his lower lip, and moving his hand nervously around.

_Fuck. He's, like, probably fighting freakin' Madara in some thirty hours or something, and he didn't get a proper sleep because I am a nosy idiot. That's horrible!_

"Naruto, I would have been reading until sunrise, anyway." Kakashi states laconically, his face now wearing his signature slightly bored expression, and he points at a shelf full of Icha Icha Paradise. "So it's fine."

"Ah... Well, I should go anyway." the blond says, his cheeks still holding some colour, and he takes a slow step towards the door. Then, he eyes the older man, as if waiting for a permission, something which seems a bit strange to Kakashi; he's obviously free to go whenever the hell he feels like it.

"Yeah, alright. Goodnight." the jounin declares, beaming an eye-smile towards the younger man, and he moved up to open the door for him, in an unexpected display of gentlemanly good manners. Still, though, Naruto does not just walk out; he merely takes a few hesitant steps towards the door, and then stands there, at the very entrance, looking still oddly sheepish and shamefaced.

"Kakashi-sensei, before I go..." he begins, uncertainly, and his eyes are glancing sideways, and then downwards, and then sideways once again. "So, erm... I want to ask something."

_Great, now I sound like Hinata-chan. _Naruto scolds himself, inwardly clawing his cheeks in frustration. _Come on, you've asked sillier stuff before. Hell, you have spent half your life embarrassing yourself and pranking people_! Kakashi's lazy stare and mildly amused smile are clearly telling him to get over himself, and ask whatever he wants to ask.

"Can I actually see your face now?" the blond finishes, with a huge, sheepish grin and childish, eager eyes, and inwardly, the older man is already laughing, entertained.

_Well, deep inside, you still _are_ just a curious kid, then, Naruto..._

"No." the jounin declares, eye-smiling still, and Naruto finally leaves, mumbling something about him "being no fun" under his breath, and exaggerating the heaviness of his steps.

Once the blond is far gone, Kakashi's amused smile dies into pursed lips of sadness, because, actually, he wishes he'd had the courage to say yes instead. But there is a war impending, and death, and pain, and grief, and this is not the right moment for this. Not at all.

_Well, that wasn't so bad. _the copy-nin concludes, closing the foor behind him.

_If we survive... _

_I might invite you again._

* * *

**[1]**Henohenomeheji is the "face" drawn on the back of Kakashi's dogs, and it is a drawing created by using the hiragana characters for the syllables "he no he no mo he ji". It symbolizes anonymity/ just another face, and is often painted on the faces of scarecrows.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm just a sorry little proletarian.

A/N: **This story is AU at this point. Zetsu and Tobi will be what I had imagined them to be before recent canon. New jutsus will be introduced. Some characters will be stronger than their current canon feats suggest. **And so on. Just warning you to avoid the "but Naruto can't use this or that jutsu while in Nine Tails Chakra Mode, and Tobi is not Madara, and..." comments.

Thank you for all your kind reviews. And I am glad to see I have managed to convince some of my Harry Potter readers to temporarily plunge into the Naruto fandom. Also, a HP chapter **will** be coming. It's halfway done, I pinkie promise.

Much love.

* * *

Chapter 8

_This is the last day,_ is Sakura's first thought as she wakes up to the rays of sunlight creeping into her room through the fluttering curtains. She feels her mind numb with silent dread as she dresses up swiftly, slipping into her usual outfit. _This is the last day..._

Suddenly a few of her daily habits, such as plucking her eyebrows to keep them in shape or applying the slightest bit of mascara on her naturally light-coloured eyelashes, seem silly, senseless, redundant. She cannot bring herself to bother.

_I need to speak to my parents, _the young woman reminds herself sternly as she faces herself in the mirror, pulling her unusual hair back into a strict, practical ponytail. She'd been meaning to talk to them yesterday, too, but she couldn't find it in her, for they'd been both in a surprisingly good mood when she'd come back home the other night, and she had not wanted to spoil the rest of the evening for them.

Sakura knows that, by now, her parents have pretty much come to terms with the fact their daughter is a kunoichi, and that every time she leaves the house, she might never come back. And yet, it's still quite different from telling them that this time, it is not only possible, but _probable_ that they may never see her again, and the thought makes her chest ache, not with fear of her own death, but with fear of hurting those who care about her.

"Mum, Dad..." she mutters in a serious voice as she joins them around the breakfast table, and, intuitive parents as they are, they immediately snap their heads towards her, sensing the gravity in her tone. Megumi Haruno, a middle aged woman with soft, round features, slowly puts her knife down, and stops spreading butter onto her bread, her green eyes studying carefully her daughter's strangely taut expression.

Their (strikingly similar) eyes meet, and Megumi immediately _knows, _in a way that only a mother can know.

"Tomorrow morning I will leave for an especially dangerous mission. I love you both very, very much. I thank you profoundly for allowing me to pursue my dream of becoming a kunoichi, so please, no matter what happens, never regret your choice or blame yourselves. You have made me very happy." Sakura states in a loving, tender voice, and her soft lips spread into a gentle smile, before she spreads her arm to grab a slice of toasted bread. She spreads the fresh strawberry jam in silence, not daring to lift her gaze up, and face the grief in her parents' faces.

A few minutes later, as she walks out of the house, she hears a soft, muffled sob behind her, but even then, she cannot afford to turn around, because she is afraid that is she does, she, too, will find tears down her cheeks, and feel her will crumble.

_I'm a kunoichi of the Hidden Leaf. _

_I'm the Hokage's apprentice._

_I'm strong._

_I'm not afraid of you, Sasuke, or the fiendish master you now serve, and I shall protect my comrades, my loved ones, my village, no matter what._

Determination flashes brightly on her graceful face.

* * *

She arrives at the training grounds early, and the only one already there is Tenzou Yamato, the brown-haired jounin with the kind, weary face and the highly unusual genetic legacy. A tiny smile appearing on her face, the pink-haired kunoichi thinks to herself that she's grown to quite like the quiet man, with his scary faces, his sleep issues, his happuri-style forward protector, his amusingly cautious nature and his half-covered chin.

"Hey!" she greets him in a casual, amicable manner, as she walks towards the edge of the training field, towards the concrete ledge upon which the older man is sitting.

"Good morning, there." he replies, and he offers a gentle, slightly weary smile, the mourning sun reflecting off the metal surface of his protective gear, and his flak jacket unzipped, revealing the familiar, rather form-fitting dark shirt. That's something else she likes about him, she realises privately. Not the form-fitting shirt, of course, but rather his good manners and his easy-going, slightly humorous, soft manner of speech, and the way that, despite their having served in more than a few missions together, he does not cross the line between familiarity and discourtesy.

_It's good to feel a bit like a woman before a gentleman, at times, is it not? _Sakura notes in good humour as she approaches the jounin.

"Well, it hasn't been the best of mornings, honestly. But thank you nevertheless, Yamato-taichou." she replies with a pleasantly friendly tone, as she easily and fluidly lifts her body's weight to sit upon the ledge, a few feet from the Wood Release specialist. Despite her lingering sadness at her parents' evident grief, she does not want to complain and give off the impression of being a whiny, querulous child, and so she keeps her tone light and conversational, and her face soft and warm.

Tenzou, though, frowns a bit at her response, and in spite of her cordial smile and seemingly tranquil, peaceful demeanor, he decides to investigate.

"Why is that? Had a fight with the alarm clock?" he asks, a playful expression on his features, using humour to avoid appearing rudely inquisitive. Sakura turns her face towards him, her clear, teal eyes tracing his somewhat weathered but pleasant, easy facial traits idly, as she wonders whether there is much point in telling him of her family, and of the difficulties related to them being civilians, with a civilian mindset, and a civilian set of priorities.

"Well... I spoke to my parents of the mission. No details, but they _did_... sense the gravity of the situation. They seemed very worried, and it pains me to see them like that." the kunoichi eventually explains, omitting a lot of details, and raising her gaze towards the rosy light of the early morning sun in thought.

_But you're probably thinking that I am an ungrateful little girl, aren't you, taichou? Talking of my parents to you, you who doesn't have any to begin with. _She thinks, not without a stab of bitterness and self-depreciation.

Yamato, however, does not think that way at all.

He notices the subtle manner in which her soft lips press against one another and turn thin, he detects easily the slight strain behind her light tone, and he is concerned for the young woman, for he is certain it must be difficult to deal with the emotions within one's family, especially when matters of death and danger are concerned.

_But then again, I wouldn't know, would I? _Yamato notes mentally, in a dry manner.

"I understand they are civilians, no?" he formulates tentatively, as to not sound vexing or condescending, and he shifts his entire torso around to pay closer attention to her words.

"Yes, they are. I guess it is part of the issue; they simply lack the mentality required to understand my choices."

She lets out a sharp breath, and places a hand against her forehead, her voice mellowing.

"I am just... really afraid that, if something happens, they will blame themselves for sending me to the Academy, for allowing me to pursue this kind of career. I don't want them to think any fault lies with them. I am really happy to be a kunoichi, and grateful that they allowed me to chase my dream. I wouldn't have wanted to be... _couldn't _have been anything else."

"But I'm rambling, am I not? Don't mind me..." Sakura concludes, with a slightly uneasy smile on her comely face, her hand playing nervously with a strand of pink hair.

"No, you're not. I understand what you're saying, Sakura. I guess it must be difficult for you to help them understand why a person would choose such a rocky road in life even without being raised that way, without belonging to a shinobi clan or carrying a bloodline ability. And it is admirable of you to be so concerned with their feelings." the jounin answers, his dark brown eyes caring and sympathising, as he runs a hand through his mop of slightly messy, mouse-brown hair.

The green eyes fall upon the older man's modest and gentle smile, and Sakura feels her chest warm with a sudden wave of peaceful contentment, as well as gratitude and affection.

_Thank you for always managing to, somehow, say the right thing, Yamato-taichou._

_You're a brilliant commander, and a good man._

"Thank you." she mumbles, feeling a slight bit embarrassed at having stared at the older shinobi's face perhaps a little too openly and indiscreetly. "But I am sure my problems must seen very silly to you. From what I've heard and what I've seen at the hospital, ANBU is exceptionally tough and demanding, is it not?" she adds, wanting to express that she is well aware her own unpleasant experiences probably pale in comparison to what the jounin has had to see, or do.

Yamato lets out of a quiet, long breath, and his expression turns bittersweet as he notes the rising embarrassment on the young kunoichi's face.

_So you think that your issues are minute compared to what I've seen, that I will think any less of you for your commonplace concerns? _

_You believe that the horrors of war and assassination subtract from the importance of simple human relationships? Quite the opposite, Sakura. ANBU, if anything, helped me appreciate the small, simple beauty of our daily lives._

"Yes, the ANBU is quite tough, that much is true. It requires you to be able to temporarily detach yourself completely from your emotions, else you lose your mind. That kind of detachment is not an ability to be envied, though, Sakura. It may be necessary, but it is also unhealthy." he tells the kunoichi, and his tone is oddly pleasant, especially taking into account the subject of their talk, and the content of his words. "However, I don't see how any of that lessens the importance of interpersonal relationships. The gravity of an issue is not judged by the amount of spilled blood required to solve it. There is nothing silly about caring for people." he states, in a rather quiet voice.

And again this mild, strangely soft and tired smile appears on the jounin's face, and Sakura scolds herself for being so strongly affected by it, and for so awkwardly averting her eyes in order to avoid the blood from rising into her cheeks.

"Thank you so much, Yamato..." she voices hesitantly, meekly, still slightly dazed by the surprising depth and wisdom of his words.

_There's so much more to this slightly uncomfortable, sheepish jounin than one would assume, isn't there?_ Sakura inwardly observes, as she raises her gaze again, letting it rest discreetly on the older shinobi's figure. She has been wanting to ask him about his real name for the longest time, but she has never found the courage before, thinking it will seem rather nosy of her, if not downright rude.

_But this is the last day, isn't it?_

"I'm sorry if that's something you don't want to share but... do you... have a real name?" the young woman asks, and she feels her heartbeat pick up a little as the words leave her mouth, and her throat slightly dry. For an instant, she even regrets having asked at all.

The man's dark eyebrows are lifted slightly, in surprise, and he turns his entire body around, placing one leg over the other side of the cement ledge, as to face the kunoichi fully.

"I don't have a real name, no... I've had many, but none was more real than any other. And I don't mind you asking. Not at all." he confesses, with a small, timid smile, scratching the back of his head clumsily, and Sakura thinks his cheeks might be reddening a little. And somehow, she finds that to be absolutely endearing, and it makes her feel almost dizzy with some kind of unnamed agitation, some kind of beautiful tension.

"None you are more attached to?" the pink-haired woman asks him, and Yamato feels himself both flattered and flustered at her interest in him, unable to not notice how attractive she looks, with the sun caressing her unusually coloured mane, and her bright eyes pinned openly on him. She's grown much since the time he'd first joined their team, he knows; from a horribly insecure, temperamental girl, into a strong, serious, gentle young woman.

"Yamato." he states, after a few moments of thought. "Yamato is the one I prefer. I think I'll be quite happy to be Yamato forever more." he continues, and he places his deep, soulful eyes into hers, with meaning. And she, being intelligent and observant as she is, immediately perceives the implications of his reply, and discerns just how personal his words are.

_I'm happier with my life now, with being part of this team, than I have ever been before. I feel like I've finally found my place. _

_I'm Yamato._

_This is who I want to be._

"Well, then, if Tsunade-sama intends to hand you a new identity, a new assignment, and take you away from us, as her student and assistant, I'll make sure she keeps losing important files and misplacing personal objects until she changes her mind on the subject." Sakura Haruno declares, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Her small, playful smirk is twitching, and, to his amazement, Yamato realises that this most probably qualifies as her flirting with him.

_Yes, we might die tomorrow. But this is definitely a lovely morning... _he thinks to himself, and, despite feeling a bit skittish, and certainly quite uneasy, he offers her a wide smile. "I'd definitely appreciate such a gesture." he throws at her in an equally impish manner, and he holds eye-contact long enough for her to flush a little.

* * *

She, too, is about to come up with an affectionate, witty comeback, but, to her unreasonably intense, almost physically painful disappointment, Sai enters her field of vision, walking towards them with his face eerily gleeful and pale.

_Sakura, there's absolutely no reason you should be angry at Sai for arriving exactly on time, s_he scolds her wrathful inner self, and tries to hold back from unfairly snapping at the young, black-haired shinobi.

"Hello, dear team members! What is the subject of the conversation?" Sai greets the both of them in his typical, cheery manner; that manner that is so unrealistically warm, it ends up being creepily cool instead. Yamato nods his greeting with ample cordiality, even though he, too, is slightly disappointed at the interruption of his private conversation with the kunoichi.

"We were talking about my name, or rather lack thereof. I'd just mentioned that I've grown attached to, and actually prefer my most recent alias, Yamato. And I was about to say that... I think Kakashi-sempai calls me Tenzou just to spite me, sometimes." the jounin offers with a slightly frustrated, defeated expression, and Sai reacts by scratching his chin pensively, as if analysing some kind of complex combat strategy.

"Yes, now that you mention it, Kakashi-san does seem to enjoy it when others appear exasperated, doesn't he..?" the former ROOT member states matter-of-factly, and with the perfect neutrality of a scientific observation. The young woman cannot help but be entertained at his pragmatic, unnecessarily formal matter of speech.

_He sure is unusual, but he's our Sai... _she muses, not without fondness.

"You tell me about it... He was quite a terror back in ANBU. Half the corps was afraid of him, and believe me, it is not easy to frighten the ANBU. His cruel wit and cynicism were almost as legendary as his efficiency and talent." the jounin murmurs in a rather quiet voice, dropping his eyes to the ground, apparently remembering various scenes from the previous stages of his shinobi career.

Sakura's lips part in mild surprise at the words, and her eyes widen ever so slightly.

"Eeeh... Really? He has always been so friendly, and funny, and laid-back with us... His sense of humour is sometimes pretty mean, I'll give you that, but that kind of reputation really doesn't sound like him..." she states, frowning in confusion. "Then again, I guess I can believe you. I've seen his face during serious battles... He becomes a totally different person."

"Well, I can only say that I've known him for almost twenty years, and I have still absolutely no idea who he really is." Yamato concludes, and he sighs, shrugging at the young kunoichi. "But I do know that he's usually a pretty cool guy, and extremely skilled. I've always liked him, even back when he was my terribly sarcastic, and somewhat arrogant squadron leader." he adds, smiling, and Sakura is not surprised to hear the older shinobi say something like that. She remembers just how strongly flattered Yamato had been when the silver-haired jounin had told him he thought of him as an equal. It was obvious the Mokuton specialist admired the slightly older man a lot.

"Arrogant, huh... I really don't ever remember him being arrogant. Quite the opposite, actually. He always keeps saying that we've surpassed him. Especially Naruto; he keeps pointing out that the boy would probably obliterate him if he so chose to." Sakura observes thoughtfully, her genin instructor's plentiful contradictions piquing her interest.

"That's with Naruto, though. Kakashi-sempai would probably be willing to bite his fingers off one by one for that kid..." the jounin notes cryptically, his pensive, brown gaze flying off to the distance.

_Yes, in all the years I've known Kakashi of the Sharingan, I've never quite seen him look at someone that way. Sometimes I almost wonder if..._

"Well, Naruto does have this magical way of making everyone listen to him, and believe in him, doesn't he? He did literally _talk_ Pein off annihilating the entire population of Konohagakure..." the pink-haired woman responds, a proud, beaming smile on her face as her mind runs off towards her comrade and best friend.

"I don't think it's magical. I think it's a special talking Genjutsu, that he places by..." Sai suddenly interjects, his tone quite serious, as he begins explicating some kind of conspiracy theory.

The other two are about to start chuckling, exchanging incredulous grins and amused looks at Sai's imaginative theories, when an excited voice booms from behind them.

"Genjutsu? Where's the Genjutsu? I'll dispel it in less three seconds, believe it!"

"Good morning to you, too, Naruto-kun..." Sakura laughs, the sun gleaming in her teal eyes, and flashing against the strands of her beautiful, peach-coloured hair.

_Yes, all in all, it's a beautiful morning, isn't it, if one excludes the imminence of tomorrow's suicide assignment, _Yamato concludes with defeated bitterness, his eyes tracing the young woman's brilliant grin, and suddenly, he is substantially displeased at the thought of tomorrow's accursed mission because, for once in his life, he is almost happy, and he does not really feel terribly willing to die. Not now. Not yet.

It would be too unfair.

_A beautiful morning._

_Damnit._

Invisible to everyone, his fist clenches.

* * *

Kakashi arrives some twenty minutes late, only this time, his tardiness is meticulously calculated.

He'd thought about making it on time, for once, taking into account the undeniable gravity of the situation, but it occurred to him that such uncharacteristic, unusual behaviour on his part would only alarm his team, and stress them out even further. Of course, he could not afford to be too late, either. Their time is running out. And so, the copy-nin had settled for a small and fashionable delay of twenty minutes, reaching the training grounds at exactly 7.21 am, and greeting the already gathered group with a light-hearted "Yo".

The team greets him back.

_Early enough to avoid the yells and accusing fingers, but late enough to avoid arousing suspicion, _Kakashi smiles inwardly as he walks towards the other shinobi in his usual leisurely, smooth manner.

His orange bible of porn is opened at page 132.

"So, 'Kashi, what are the sparring teams today? Can I be with Sai again? It was really awesome last time!" Naruto asks, energetic and childishly excited, his eyes sparkling with some innate sense of enthusiasm as he beams a large, toothy grin towards the silver-haired jounin. Kakashi is relatively sure that the young man is, at least in part, putting up an act of insouciance, but it's true that he certainly does not _seem_ the slightest bit apprehensive about the approaching battle.

"Well, I think you and Kakashi-sempai should train on your synergy, too, since it will probably end up being the two of you against Madara at some point, if all goes according to plan and you manage to incapacitate Sasuke while Hatake keeps the older Uchiha distracted." Yamato begins, his expression manifestly pensive as he flicks his gaze sideways, towards the seemingly stirred up jinchuuriki.

"But then again, the two of you already have impeccable teamwork. It would probably be a waste of time." he adds after another moment of thought.

Sakura and Sai are about to word their own opinions on today's training schedule, but the team leader interrupts them all, his eye-smile still firmly in place.

"No physical training today." he declares with somewhat out-of-place sunniness, and lifts his arms to place them behind his head.

"**What?** But it's the last day! We **have** to train!" Naruto yells out in immediate response, and he looks simultaneously crestfallen and disbelieving, as well as ostensibly exasperated, the pleasantly excited expression dropping from his whiskered face, and replaced by uneasy trepidation.

_So you _are_ deeply nervous after all, Naruto._

"I never said we will not train. I merely said we will not train physically. Think about it, Naruto. The physical improvement you can achieve in one day is not worth the possible risk of straining a muscle, overexerting or getting accidentally wounded in this kind of case." Kakashi explains in a factual, flat tone, and the young blond whistles out a defeated sigh, knowing his former genin instructor to have a very valid point.

Sai, Sakura and the second jounin nod their silent understanding of Kakashi's decision, and simply look at him, awaiting further instructions.

"Well, what _kind_ of training are we going to do then?" the slightly impatient blond inquires, eying the still marginally taller man with suspicion.

"I was getting to that." the oldest member of the team replies, sending his former student a slightly ticked off sideways glance, before he starts walking towards the Konoha woods, his fellow shinobi following uncertainly. "What we're going to do is... each one of you is going to have a very interesting, short but in depth talk with me, while we review a few of your personal issues through the use of my Genjutsu. That's all." Kakashi informs them, and offers them all a wide smile from behind the dark fabric of his mask.

"Ehhh? We're going to _talk_? How does that qualify as training?" Naruto demands in a quiet, confused voice, looking concerned and probably a little bit disappointed as he brings up a hand to scratch a whiskered cheek.

Sakura, too, does not seem to quite understand, but she remains silent and pensive. The other jounin's dark, almond-shaped eyes, however, fill with knowledge and realisation, and he purses his lips.

"You're talking about emotional conditioning, aren't you? Similar to what the ANBU sometimes demanded before solo S-classes. Sempai... Are you really certain...?" Yamato begins, looking unsure and nervous about going against Kakashi, but also openly concerned about whatever his former squadron leader is planning to put them through. Nonetheless, the brown-haired shinobi's words trail into silence as the copy-nin turns his head back towards him, causing their eyes to meet.

It is not a stern, authoritative look that he encounters on his sempai's face, one that would silently command him to keep his doubts to himself, however. It is rather a strangely heated look of iron determination, an expression that speaks of finality, and of a man who knows _exactly_ what he is doing.

_Well, Hatake-san is nothing like Morino Ibiki, and I am sure he does not have in mind the same kind of slightly traumatic "talks" as the ones we received from Ibiki in ANBU. He does not fool around when such crucial missions are concerned, and he would not be unnecessarily cruel to his students, _the Wood-Release specialist concludes, reassured.

_I trust you, sempai._

Soon enough, they reach a very pleasant, beautiful area of the forest, and the older jounin observes his surroundings with ample satisfaction, his visible eye narrowing with pleasure. "Well, this is a nice spot, neh? Why don't the rest of you just wait here and enjoy yourselves, while I start with Sai?" he eventually exclaims, and, signaling for said young man to follow him, he walks off, leaving the rest of them under a graceful willow tree.

* * *

A few minutes later, Kakashi Hatake and Sai are both leaning against two tree trunks, eying one another in the silence, until the Ink specialist finally decides to speak.

"I'm afraid I fail to comprehend the point of this exercise, Kakashi-san." he states in an exceedingly matter-of-factly fashion, and without any kind of sarcasm or reproach. The other man almost smiles at the statement, but he nevertheless completely ignores it, and he casts instead a very simple, primitive genjutsu.

Sasuke Uchiha appears, standing between the two shinobi.

"What is your opinion of this man, Sai-kun?" Kakashi asks, in a friendly, conversational tone, pointing at the illusion of the young avenger.

A flicker of raw emotion gleams behind Sai's dark eyes as he studies the form of the young Uchiha. "He is a threat to the safety of Konohagakure, and must be either incapacitated, or disposed of. However, he is dear to some of my comrades, and therefore an opportunity for him to return to the village should not be immediately rejected." he eventually replies, in a machine-like, monotone voice.

"I did not ask for a status report. I asked for a personal opinion." the jounin observes, and tilts his head amicably.

"I do not really like this man." the former ROOT member thus changes his previous statement, as to express his personal feelings more clearly, his words still dry and factual.

"Hnnn. Then why did you support Naruto when he was trying to prevent the Uchiha from being declared a criminal and missing-nin?"

Temporary silence, as Sai frowns, choosing his words with the fastidious care of a heart surgeon.

"Naruto is my friend." he finally states, almost defiantly.

"I see. So, why is it that you dislike Sasuke Uchiha, Sai-kun?"

"He is a missing-nin and a..."

"Not a status report, Sai. I want your personal thoughts on this subject." Kakashi insists, his voice now a slight, almost imperceptible bit more forceful, as the illusion between them smirks at the young, pale boy with open derision.

"He does not deserve the friendship of Saukra-chan and Naruto-kun." Sai replies, and this time his tone is not as fully homogeneous, and mechanical as before. It is painted with a tinge of conviction, and a tinge of resentment.

"_And yet they still care about me more than they care about you, do they not_?"

It is the Genjutsu that replies this time, and not Kakashi, the hollow, mocking voice dripping with amusement and disdain. Sai's eyes harden like cooling steel, and a frigid, wordless hatred fills them, the kind that is kept inside, silent and merciless, to eat one up slowly and discreetly. His marble face, though, remains stoic and smooth, unwilling to allow any emotion to display itself upon the pallid skin.

"_You need them more than they ever needed you, replacement-kun_."

The phantom-Sasuke hisses out another vitriolic statement, and this time Sai's visage finally twitches with ire. A truly rare, strange sight. However, the young man does not respond to the provocation. Instead, he throws his ebony eyes to the ground, shamefaced, bitter.

_Kakashi-san read my shameful sentiments quite easily; how pitiful._

But the silver-haired jounin notices the venom and embarrassment on the young shinobi's face, and knows it's the moment for him to intervene. He dispels the vexing Genjutsu with ease, and stares at the younger man in silence for a while more, before he finally draws a rather deep breath.

"Sai, listen to me." Kakashi then says, softly, and he suddenly lifts the weight of his torso off the tree bark, and walks towards the young man, placing a hand on the former ROOT's angular shoulder. "There's no shame in being afraid you care about someone more than they care about you, and there's no shame in wanting to be loved. No one is safe from these fears and feelings. We are only human. However, you are wrong if you believe that your comrades need you less than you need them. You are their friend."

Sai's gaze narrows in irritation, presumably perceiving the older man's gentle tone as partonising. "How is this related to the mission at hand?" he inquires, coolly, and lifts his visage up to meet the team's current commander's mostly concealed face.

"Only if you come to terms with how much you care about people, can you protect them to the best of your abilities, Sai. If you stop resenting yourself for what you feel, and instead accept it, then, believe me, you will fight better. No one here sees you as a replacement"

Sai remains silent for the longest time after that statement, his face tense and thoughtful, before it finally softens once more, flooded with something akin to relief. Consequently, a powerful, ferocious gleam of determination and devotion flashes through the black eyes, and the young shinobi offers the older man a modest but confident smile.

_I think I understand a little better now. Thank you, Hatake-san, _Sai thinks to himself.

"Good then." exclaims Kakashi happily, and he flips out of his serious mode abruptly, his visible eye squinting in glee as he re-opens his most prized book. "Now go fetch me Sakura, won't you?"

* * *

And so, later still, it is Sakura who is resting against a tall, mossy tree, staring at her former teacher with a firm, resolute look on her face. She wears no make-up at all, today, and she has her haired pulled into a stern ponytail, the jounin notices, while her body has become increasingly toned under Tsunade's tutoring. She looks rather intimidating, actually; not a woman one should mess with.

_But is your resolve as strong as you would want us to believe, Sakura-chan?_

"Well, this will be a fairly straight-forward exercise, Sakura. In exactly one minute, I will create a Genjutsu, and I want you to react to it immediately and without delay as if it were a real, actual situation. Understood?" Kakashi explains, his tone light and smooth, and she nods her understanding, brow creasing in battle-readiness.

_I'll treat everything I see as real. Real, _she orders herself firmly.

The copy-nin brings his hands in front of his chest, ready to form seals, and he eyes his former student as the minute flows by in a tormentingly slow manner.

_Tick-tock._ Kakashi mutters inwardly, and then, suddenly, he disappears from the pink-haired kunoichi's field of vision, leaving behind an elaborate illusion.

Sakura gasps.

A few metres before her lay two wounded bodies: Naruto's form, soaked in blood and breathing heavily, and Sasuke's figure, badly injured and hoarsely panting. _Treat it as real. Real. _Her hand glowing with healing chakra, she rushes towards the fallen shinobi, only to suddenly realise that the ground beneath the two males is slowly cracking open, and collapsing.

_A Doton attack. They'll fall to their deaths!_ Sakura swiftly notes, trying to keep the horror from clouding her judgment, and runs towards them with blinding speed, her heart hammering in her chest even as she is aware that it is all an illusion. _Naruto!_

But as she approaches the two injured shinobi, it becomes evident that she cannot possibly manage to reach both of them in time, and that she'll have to make a choice, and make it swiftly. _Naruto-kun, of course. Naruto is everything to me; my family, my friend, my comrade. Sasuke is the enemy now. The enemy_, she shouts to herself inwardly, and she hastily plunges towards the bloodied blond, to pull him out of the trap.

And yet, one second before their hands make contact, her treacherous eyes flick sideways, and fall upon the handsome form of the wounded Uchiha.

Her chest constricts.

_He's the enemy now. He's made his choice. Had I not been rescued, he would have killed me, killed me without a single moment of uncertainty. I know this, and I know that he is beyond redemption, lost to us forever. Our Sasuke, the one we knew and remember, is long gone._

_And yet..._

_Could I just let him die like that?_

_Can't there be a way to..._

_Save them both?_

But this second, this one second of thought, of delay, is enough for the ground to finally collapse, pulling both young men down with it, and as desperately as Sakura throws her arm forward, her fingers barely brush against the hand of the illusionary Naruto, before he disappears into the darkness, eyes open in terror.

The Genjutsu dissipates, and Sakura is left kneeling, panting, before Kakashi's pensive eyes.

"Well, there goes Naruto." the instructor observes wryly, giving the distraught girl a slightly reproachful, but not entirely cruel look. She's done better than he had expected her to, anyway. She made the right choice, and made it fairly quickly.

"That was a very vicious thing to show me, sensei." she a murmurs her weak complaint pathetically, her voice slightly shaky as she, staggering a little still, gets back up upon her feet. Her lovat eyes are wide, and humid, her chest still heaving strongly and her fingers shaky.

"Reality can be even more vicious, Sakura-chan." he responds, softly and apologetically, and she drops her head, waiting for the inevitable scolding, her cheeks flushing up with stabbing shame.

"Don't be so dismayed, You did really well. You are mature enough, practical enough to make the right choices, and you no longer allow yourself to be easily swayed by irrational hopes..." he begins, and the kunoichi lifts her head, surprised at the unexpected compliment, her face softening and calming considerably. "But when you really do find yourself in such a position, _you must not __hesitate._ Do you understand me?" She meets his visible eye, and she finds it unusually piercing and deep.

"_You must not hesitate._" he repeats, stressing his point gently but with force. "A _single second _of hesitation can condemn you to decades of regret and guilt, Sakura... I don't want you to have to learn this lesson the way I did."

Her soft lips part at his words and their implications, because she has never before heard Kakashi, this private, layered man, confess to something like that about himself before.

_Kakashi-sensei... I understand. No hesitation. Never again._

"Hn!" she exclaims and nods with new-found energy, in a fashion almost reminiscent of Lee, her eyes and mind clear once more.

"Great!" he smiles at her widely, radiantly, and he ruffles her hair with uninhibited affection, completely messing up her previously neat ponytail. "Go call for that pesky kohai of mine, alright?"

* * *

"Sempai... Do you really think you can throw at me something worst than what Ibiki already has, time and time again?" Yamato asks warily, and secretly, he hopes for the answer to be no, since, if the answer is yes, then the next half hour will probably be highly unpleasant for him. To his mild annoyance and surprise, the slightly older man chuckles at his question, and throws a large eye-smile towards his general direction.

"Don't be silly, Yamato. I don't intend to try and mentally torture you, or put you in incredibly twisted imaginary situations, where you have to cut your own arm off with a spoon in order to save a comrade, or whatever sick ideas Morino tends to come up with. I couldn't hope to rival the man's disturbing imagination." the silver-haired shinobi declares cheerfully. The other man, though, is still looking as cautious as ever, his eyes slightly narrowed with manifest suspicion.

"...Right. So?"

"So, I'm going to ask you a question now." Kakashi informs him, factually and in a dispassionate manner.

"A question." the Wood Release specialist repeats, ever humorously mistrustful towards his sly fellow warrior. _I'm sure this is a trap. I can't tell what the trap is, yet, but it's obviously a freakin' trap, _mutters to himself.

"Yes. And the question is, how strong are you, Yamato?" the copy-nin questions in a light, conversational fashion, his lazy eye lifted idly onto a nearby tree's foliage.

Yamato narrows his eyes with caginess, feeling overwhelmingly certain that this is some kind of fiendish trick question. "Well..." he begins, hesitantly, and opts for the relatively safe route of dry objectivity. "I have six kage-level Mokuton techniques, eight upper-jo.." he starts elaborating, when he is rudely interrupted by an eerily smiling Kakashi.

"I was your squadron leader for six years, and I've been your team commander for two more. If someone can recite your databook stats like a poem, it's me, neh, Yamato? It's your opinion I'm asking for. How strong do _you_ think you are?"

_So the trick here is not to be objective and distant. Right. This is not ANBU, remember. Perhaps I'm supposed to be really humble? Hmmm... Or, perhaps, the right answer is that power is relative? _the marginally younger jounin ponders, thoughtful and guarded, and he absent-mindedly rubs a finger against his happuri-style forehead protector. Kakashi rolls his eye at the man's frown, and offers him a playful smirk from beneath the thick fabric of the mask.

"Hmmm. I guess... I'm quite good at what I do, but have a long way still to reach Shodai Hashirama's level of mastery. Is that an acceptable answer?" the genetic experiment phrases uncertainly, scratching the back of his head in an openly nervous manner. He might really admire the copy-nin, but that does not mean he finds the man to be any less unnerving.

"See... I asked you how strong you are, and instead, you talk to me about how you compare to the first Hokage. Interesting."

_You bastard, _the brown-haired man spits inwardly.

"So is that the plan, Hatake-sempai? (_Ouch, _Kakashi thinks, _he must be pissed to address me that way..._) Are you going to try and play the psychologist, and dig into my identity issues and the weight of my genetic burden? Nothing I haven't heard before." Yamato states, his voice cool and defensive, and his almond-shaped eyes grow the slightest bit hostile.

"No, I'm not. And I'm sorry if my insightful remarks bother you. Now stop thinking about the damn Shodai Hokage altogether." Kakashi responds smoothly and in an inappropriately carefree way, and the younger shinobi looks as is he wants to throttle him. "All I'm going to do, is ask a question, Tenzou. How strong are you?"

_What the hell is this game you're playing at, Hatake!_

_You don't want a databook reply. You do not want me to compare myself to the source of the Mokuton ability. How else am I supposed to offer a measure or approximation my power?_

"Well, I guess you could say..." he tries again, but Kakashi cuts in.

"No guesses."

And then, it dawns upon Yamato, what the older jounin is trying to get him to say._ So in order to get out of this, I'm supposed to say "I'm strong", yes? An exercise in self-confidence, or something. Sneaky, Kakashi, very sneaky, _the shinobi concludes triumphantly, and his eyes gleam with the new knowledge, a modestly curved smirk forming upon his lined face.

But as he is about to utter these words, he realises that every time he tries to say them, he subconsciously craves to add a measure of uncertainty. _I guess... Probably... Rather... Somewhat... One could say... _

It simply feels so ridiculous, so theatrical to state something like "I'm strong" out loud, just like that. Just like these grandiose declarations Naruto comes up with. Yamato cringes, feeling his dignity crumble.

"I..."

_Oh, for heaven's sake... Lets just get over with this weird thing._

"I'm strong." he finally states, and strangely enough, when he eventually does manage to say it, he discovers it does not sound quite as excruciatingly corny and childish as he had imagined it to sound. In fact, it doesn't sound bad at all, and unwillingly, Yamato discovers himself smiling at the mildly pleasant sensation of having made such a claim out loud.

_Well, this wasn't that bad... _the younger jounin realises incredulously, and to his growing horror, it occurs to him that the copy-nin's disgustingly corny exercise did actually boost his self-confidence ostensibly.

"Of course you're strong. In other news, water is wet." Kakashi rebuts cheerfully, with a genuinely affectionate expression, and he wraps an arm around the young man's shoulder, in an exaggeration of camaraderie. "Now go fetch me my jinchuuriki, Pinocchio."

_Pinocchio!?_

_Sometimes I really hate you, sempai._

* * *

"So, what's the deal with these talks, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asks, and despite the superficial legerity of his tone, the azure eyes are serious and inquisitive, perhaps even the slightest bit disquieted, as the young man throws his body back languorously against the tree trunk.

"I could try to explain to you what I've been doing, but I doubt you'd understand." Kakashi replies, teasing the young shinobi a little, and yet quite honest about his answer. How does one begin to explain the delicacies and intricacies of emotional conditioning to someone with the impulsiveness and brashness of Uzumaki Naruto?

The jinchuuriki does not seem willing to take no for an answer, though (d_oes he __**ever**__ take no for an asnwer, _Kakashi wonders), and he offers his former teacher a moody scowl.

"You're implying I'm stupid again, aren't you? Well, I might not be good with books, but I'm still sharp enough to have fooled lots of very dangerous enemies and stuff, so try me! Explain." the young man demands, his finger pointed at the masked shinobi. The jounin sighs in an unnecessarily loud, theatrical manner, and, well-aware of just how criminally stubborn Naruto can be, he tries to think of a way to put this concept into relatively simple words.

_Besides, he's right. In his own, very personal way, he is indeed undeniably sharp. Some of the shadow clone feints and tricks he comes up with... They could even fool a Nara._

"Well, think of it that way... Our resolve and our will to accomplish something are like a chain armour, where each link is a thought, or an emotion, a source of motivation, a reason. However, everyone has a few weak links in their armour, that, when discovered by the enemy and hit, can lead to the entire thing crumbling, or going wild. What I am trying to do today, is to prepare the team for this kind of situation, by fortifying those soft spots." he clumsily explains, making a few movements with his hands as he speaks.

"Hnn." Naruto replies, and his bright eyes squint in thought. "You mean like how Choji will charge head on if you call him fat, right? Or how Ino loses her concentration if you call her ugly? You're trying to make sure no one in the team does anything like that, then?" he suggests, scratching his chin, and eying his former instructor with curiosity.

"I guess that's not a bad example. Only, of course, the insecurities and psychological weaknesses of experienced, well-trained shinobi like Sai or Yamato are somewhat subtler than that." the jounin states, and offers the blond a shiny eye-smile, before placing his gaze back onto the pages of Jiraiya's "literature".

"Hnnnn. So, I guess that for me and Sakura-chan, you are worried about how we will react to Sasuke's words, neh, sensei?" the jinchuuriki asks again, this time in a much quieter, gentler voice, and, breaking eye-contact, he throws his gaze to the ground, face suddenly flooded with a shade of melancholy.

_Insightful inquiry, Naruto._

"Perhaps in the case of Sakura, I worry about it still, sometimes. But I know that you, at least, have come to terms now with Sasuke's choices and his decisions, and despite how much you might still care about him, you will not put that above protecting Konoha. I trust you, Naruto." Kakashi responds softly, and he takes a step or two towards the younger man, who is now lifting his head once again, quite surprised and pleased by his former teacher's unexpected vote of confidence, and with a small smile twitching on his tanned face.

_Hell, yes, I will not fail Konoha! I'll protect it even against Sasuke! Thank you for believing in me, 'Kashi-sensei, _the Uzumaki inwardly declares, and he offers the copy-nin a wide grin.

For a few minutes, both of them remain silent, Naruto thinking, and Kakashi reading through that saucy passage with the torture specialist and the young kunoichi.

"So, when it comes to me, what _are_ you worried about then, Kakashi? What are my weak points?" Naruto finally questions, stretching his arms upwards and snapping his neck back in a lazy, carefree manner, but with a certain look to his eyes than suggests solemnity and sobriety.

"Well, honestly, Naruto-kun, I don't know. I don't think there's anything I can say that will improve how you'll do in battle. You're as ready as you'll ever be, I guess." Kakashi mumbles, but it's only a half-truth (_because I am more worried about this than I've ever been for a battle before, and I have no idea if any of us are ready for it, _the jounin mentally adds, with defeated bitterness). The demon host, though, very susceptible to compliments as he is, immediately flashes a ridiculously wide and dazzling grin, full of smugness and general self-satisfaction, while giving the silver-haired man a slightly corny thumbs up gesture.

"I am, however, worried about how you'll do _after_ the battle, Naruto." the copy-nin continues, his voice suddenly much lower and graver, and his visible eye unreadable.

"What.. do you mean?" the younger man asks, his light-coloured eyebrows drawing closer to one another in slight confusion.

"Let me show you something."

Darkness.

And then, Naruto finds himself inside a Genjutsu, a perfect imitation of that part of Konoha behind the dome, two blocks away from the hospital, and just next to...

_The memorial stone._

In front of the it, the blond notices the figure of a young man, wearing a khaki shirt with a slightly weathered orange trim, and without even needing to see his face, he knows that the man in the illusion is meant to be him. Warily, he approaches the stone and the ghostly vision of his older self, a sinking feeling of dread getting stronger within his stomach.

The ghostly Naruto is barely any older than he is, but he seems infinitely more exhausted, and worn, his eyes carrying the faded hue of grief as he pins them with savage intensity upon the reflective surface of the memorial monument.

When the jinchuuriki is done examining the reflection of his own self, he finally turns his eyes towards the stone.

They widen at the most recent names.

_Hatake Kakashi_

_Haruno Sakura_

_Sai of the Ink_

_Tenzou Yamato_

"**Kai**!" yells the blond, his voice hoarse with anger, and maybe even desperation, and he uses the Bijuu's chakra to snap his own self out of the illusionary technique. In less than a fraction of a second, he is back at the forest's small clearing, breathing heavily, and a few inches away from Kakashi, who is looking as apathetic and unemotional as always.

"Why are you still going on about this! This is not going to happen!" the boy snarls with surprising fury, eyes blazing and chakra flaring around him erratically. The older man, however, does not react to the small bout of rage; not even the tiniest bit of cringing.

"I'm not saying it's probable." _Even though I believe it actually is..._ "I am just saying it's possible, Naruto." Kakashi explains gently, patiently, with a voice filled with forced objectivity, his dark eye observing the blond's twitching lips. Naruto seems to want to disagree, lips parting in an attempt to protest and eyes brimming with some kind of exasperation, but he is a kid no longer, and he knows his teacher's words to be irrefutable fact, and ends up hanging his head low, aggravated but silent.

"Yes, it's possible, isn't it? It's what happened to you, after all." he mutters bitterly after a long period of heavy, thick silence, gaze still drilling holes into the ground, and fists clenching tightly as the words escape his lips. A part of him is probably trying to vex Kakashi that way, take revenge for that horrible vision, but the older man simply accepts the truth of these words, and does not react, keeping his face stone.

"Yes, it's what happened to me. And for that reason, I need you to promise me that no matter what happens to any of us during the days to come, you'll live on, pursue your dreams, become Hokage, and be happy. Is that clear, Naruto?" Kakashi asks, his tone suddenly forceful, demanding, and his glare oddly intense.

And the young man _wants_ to be angry at this ridiculous conversation, and at all the nonsense his teacher is spewing, all that nonsense that is obviously _not _going to happen, but when he makes eye contact again, the urgency he discovers in Kakashi's expression, the overwhelming affection and the authoritative yet begging look, shocks him and softens him.

_Kakashi-sensei... You want to help me avoid your own mistakes, don't you? To protect me from survivor's guilt or whatever it's called?_

_You want to make sure I don't end up miserable, living in the past, regretting._

_I understand._

"_The best we can do to honour our dead is to live on for them", right? Tsunade-baa-chan told me so, after Jiraiya's sacrifice._

_But you don't have to worry, because this will never happen._

_I won't let any of you die._

_I won't let you._

"I won't let any of you die." Naruto declares quietly, but with solemn gravity, his jaw clenched. The silver-haired jounin's face tenses in exasperation at the words, realising that the young man is still unwilling to explore the possibility of things not turning out as planned, is still unwilling to come to terms with a possible loss. He could repeat things he's told the boy before (that he can't always save everyone, that shinobi die, that life is life), but he knows he will accomplish nothing by trying to appeal to Naruto's rational side.

So he tries again, appealing purely to the jinchuuriki's emotions.

_The good thing with always being so dreadfully composed, controlled, cool, is that when you rip your composure into pieces, when you choose to exhibit passion, the surprise factor is so large that the people before you can do little but stare, _Kakashi knows, and so, despite feeling the slightest pang of guilt for being about to manipulate the younger man a bit, he decides that he simply **needs** to know that Naruto will look after himself no matter what, that he will be alright.

_Besides, it's not manipulation if the sentiment I am exhibiting is actually honest, is it?_

He lifts the hitai-ite.

Then, he walks up to the blond until their faces are almost touching, grabs his hand with a swift and savage motion and, crushing it between his own gloved hand and his chest while nailing the boy with ferocious, mismatched eyes, he repeats his request. "_**Promise me**__._"

Naruto feels his heart hammer inside his chest, and his blue eyes widen, dazed.

_Kakashi-sensei... This is really imporant to him._

_I've never seen him like that before. _

_Asking for a promise... It's so unlike him._

"I... I promise." he finally mutters, and staggers back, shaken.

The jounin's eyes squint upwards with sudden glee, all seriousness vanishing from his face, and he slips his hand into the pockets of his flak jacket, reaching to retrieve the porn he'd put away a few minutes ago. "That's really nice of you, Naruto. Lets go back to the others, neh?" he states, and starts walking, slouchy as ever. The boy stares at the abrupt metamorphosis in absolute and utter disbelief, but he can do nothing but follow.

* * *

Back at the clearing, Kakashi gathers them all around him. "Now go rest. Go do all your teary family goodbye things, or your solitary existential meditations, because in a few short hours, I want you back here, fully ready. We'll leave before the sun rises," he tells them, wrapping his arms around Sakura's and Sai's shoulders as he speaks.

"What about the ones who have no family, and who don't know what "existential" means?" asks Naruto a fraction of a second letter, a frown on his whiskered face. There's no sadness in his voice as he mentions his lack of living biological family; he's well over the constant sense of loss he felt as a child.

"Well, my parents have already received their farewells, and I am not sure I want to face them again. Besides, you're as much my family as they are, Naruto. So, we could go get ramen together, and come back here, to eat. And then we could go get our things and sleep out here, too, you know, to get our minds into mission mode earlier rather than later." Sakura suggests with a cautious smile (she is always cautious when suggesting things, Kakashi notes, she does not accept anything less than a great idea from herself), and her green eyes meet Naruto's, where she is pleased to find much enthusiasm. He beams a huge grin her way, and she can tell it is not only because of the mention of his favourite food, but mostly because, despite being so self-sufficient, Naruto does not like being alone when it truly matters.

"Would that be alright if I come, too? Not that I like you that much, but I have nothing better to do." Sai inquires, his tone flat and uncaring and his attempt at humour fairly weak, but from the slightly increased rate of blinking, the silver-haired jounin can tell he cares about the answer he's about to receive, and seems as close to nervous as Sai could ever seem.

"Of course you can, Sai!" the jinchuuriki yells at him, scolding him for even having asked the question, while simultaneously shooting his lasers of friendly warmth at the unsuspecting ink nin.

"Yamato-taichou should come, too. If he wants to, that is..." Sakura adds in a seemingly light manner, as if the thought had only just occurred to her, but Kakashi, despite his one visible eye, is too observant to miss the slight colour on her cheeks, or the inconspicuous traces of tremour in her voice. _Ah, so it's already quite mutual. I'm honestly glad for them, they are beautifully well-matched. Let us hope they will live long enough to find that out._

"Ahh..." Yamato stammers, and the Sharingan-wielder needs not be a prophet to know his predictable kohai will lift up his right hand and awkwardly scratch the back of his head, while bearing a sheepish smile. And of course, Yamato promptly does just that. "Yes... I... That would be nice." he finally manages to utter, his warm, brown eyes strictly limited to staring at a random rock near Sakura's feet.

"You, Kakashi? You** must** come, it's not the same without you." the blond suddenly says, almost snarls, interrupting the slightly awkward but fairly loveable antics of his two companions, his voice ringing clear and strong. The copy-nin is not sure why the invitation surprises him. It shouldn't. He is well-aware that Naruto cares about his comrades more than anything, and he obviously loves having them by his side, the more the better. He and Sakura have been forcing him to go out with them for years, pulling him into ramen shops by the sleeve while trying to peek under his mask.

_Still, this is a bit different. _Kakashi muses, slightly awed by how comfortable the Uzumaki seems with -demanding- his presence and by how the kid (_who isn't a kid, Kakashi, stop forgetting that_) is staring at him so heatedly, as if anything less than having him come along will simply not do.

"Sure," he throws casually, and takes out his dirty little book, this time not really to immerse himself in any saucy passages, but rather to hide himself from these impossibly scorching eyes, to shield himself from his own discomfort, and the strange feeling in his gut.

_Well, at least tomorrow we'll probably die, so I won't really have to think about how to deal with this._


End file.
